I stood beside a troubled marriage, feeling their pain.
A certainty came over me. I knew they would make it.
I said it boldly outloud.
"You will make it."
The husband hugged me hard.
The wife more gently.
"You will make it", I said again to her.
How do I know this?
Because they BOTH were humble and contrite of heart.
Because the husband has said, "It's all my fault",
and because the wife knows too deeply
that he speaks falsehood.
They will make it because God is not stopping in to visit their home.
He has come to dwell there within their humble and contrite hearts.
And their broken hurting home is a high and holy place
where God has come to stay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Websters-"Make"-to set up; establish; to cause the success of;
to accomplish; to arrive at; to reach
Isaiah 57:15-
"For thus says the High and Lofty One
Who inhabits eternity,
whose name is Holy;
'I dwell in the high and holy place,
With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,
To revive the spirit of the humble,
And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.'"
We make, set up, establish, cause the success of, accomplish, arrive at and reach our goal
when we are humble and contrite of heart.
Why?
Because it is there,
in that high and holy place of humility,
where God dwells.
And where there is humility and the dwelling of God
there is a revival of heart and spirit.
And where there is a revival of heart and spirit
there is a desire to 'make it work.'
And then, miracles happen.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Hertzler Doings-Dec. 17-23, 2012
Mon.-Alli spent the night since Freeman was away. We made candles with white wax flakes and crayons. I went to town for a meeting and errands. The girls watched 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding.' Alli took Susan to meet Ashley for BB practice. Michael worked on the farm and ran to Richmond to pick up chain saw and wood splitter from the Abbey. After I put the groceries away I called Rosalee. She sounded better.
Tues.-Got up really early. Glad that we have internet service again. Missed face book especially. It's a good way to keep in touch. Have been listening to 'Handel's Messiah' several times a day. It fills me. And helps me pray. 'Behold the Lamb of God.' I pray without words because sometimes, what more can be said, than, "Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away the sins of the world."
Kept my appt. with the doctor today to check lungs and toe. I'm glad I did. Have a sinus infection and my toe is infected also. She gave me a $48 dollar prescription for an antibiotic and scheduled me to have surgery this Friday to remove the nail to aid healing and to allow me to wear shoes. Feel relieved and that I don't have to keep being strong. There's a reason I'm so weary. Found Michael's airplane ornament at an antique store. I'm pretty tickled with an old Walt Disney toy that I can make into an ornament. I am getting each of the kids an ornament to symbolize something about their year. Hope they don't read this. Also got my shore girls some cute...Oh, I can't say this here. Naomi will read it!
Finished up the candle I made for Mom yesterday. I melted blue crayons in white wax and poured the results into a large empty raw honey jar. Then I glued glittery snowflakes around the outside and cut out a circle from a Christmas card that matched and glued it on the lid. It looks really nice and I realized how happy I am when I'm making something.
Went to Dr. Forand's with Susan and then we met Alli at Trinity and took her to Farmville with us. We dropped Susan off at New Life to prepare for her game and Alli and I went to the bank and to Discount Fabrics where I bought burgundy material to back The Last Supper piece. Then we got take out at Golden Palace and ate in the car in the parking lot. Then we headed to the game. Susan's team won their first game! I was sitting beside the wife of one of the refs. She is a professional coach and video tapes the games and they watch them in slow motion together and she tells him what he missed. It was educational and fun to be sitting beside her and I apologized to the ref for all the comments and loud noises coming out of my mouth that he will have to listen to as they hit 'replay.' I told her that Susan was my daughter and she said, "She is strong." Then I told her that it is her first year playing and she said, "I would never have guessed." The refs told Susan and Jenny that they were power houses out there.
The guys teams were a lot tougher. There were some injuries. Ron and Kathy's Travis hurt his ankle. Meredith was there and was checking it out. April was taking good care of him. Poor guy.
Most of the kids on the teams are homeschooled and it was fun to see the homeschool community rally together to watch their kids play. They could not be involved without New Life School and the School could not be involved without these kids. It's a win-win situation.
It was nice to see Sarah W. and her brother tonight. She's a real sweetheart.
Wed.-Busy day. Got haircut and ran errands in Appomattox. Stayed home in eve. with Michael and Susan and watched a movie, I think. All tired today. Wrapped gifts, made peanut butter fudge and caramel corn. Guys came home around 9. ( Rosalee's procedure to reopen the stitched ureter was successful today. When I got the news, I couldn't stop crying. So relieved.)
Thurs.-Guys left this morning at 3 to head to Fort Washington. Brought Dave P. home yesterday. He's not going back with them this week. Took Susan to cardiologist. He spent 6 months from the ages of 14-16 with the Amish Mennonites near Lanc. Pa. She's all clear. Asthma and perhaps anemic. Iron supplements recommended and better hydration. Should relieve symptoms. Took her to basketball practice and then I went to Belk and bought Phil his Christmas gifts. Another man and I were helping each other pick out ties to match the shirts we were buying. We both bought the tie the other recommended. I love the friendliness among southern Christmas celebrators. Sometimes it still surprises me. (Rosalee's having a rough go and is in a lot of pain. Still has fever.)
Susan and I watched her play 'Get Smart' when we got home on DVD. Guys surprised us (I found out at Belk) and came home this eve. instead of tomorrow eve. Freeman called Alli while he was walking in their lane and asked her to do him a favor. 'Please open the front door.' What a nice surprise!
Fri.-Getting ready for Christmas weekend with family. Went out to Appomattox, ran errands, (Naomi-keep your eye out for a pair of 'shoes' that are coming in the mail) and had surgery to remove more poor banged up toe nail. It just did not want to numb up and it was rough for awhile. She prescribed hefty pain meds and I should be feeling pretty good even though I'll have to wear flip flops for a few more days. The thought of wearing shoes again isn't appealing even in this cold weather. The nurse was very sweet. She helped me go to my happy place-the shore with my shore girls and her happy place-resting in a hammock beside a stream with a book in hand, birds chirping- during the worst bit of the surgery.
Philip worked on farm projects, Phil worked on paper work, Michael and Susan did lots of things. Philip and Susan went to the Lapp Christmas youth party in the eve. taking Lucy with them. Two more pictures for our Christmas newsletter were taken today. Now we need to print them and write a little under each picture. Then we'll get them mailed out some time after Christmas.
This week at Salvation Army, I bought Phil 3 pairs of jeans and 6 Ivy Crew shirts and also got a number of 1-2 dollar movies and DVD's. Pretty satisfying.
{Haven't been able to write for over a week. Internet people came out yesterday and discovered something had been fried during a storm. Glad to know the reason and forgive me if my
catch-up is disjointed. I'll be writing from previous hurriedly jotted notes. Wrote this on Jan. 1, 2013}
Sat.-Up at 4:40 AM. Had taken an oxycodone last eve at 8. It relaxed me but I didn't really sleep. On the trip up to Pa. I got very nauseated. Felt like my mind was leaving my body. Disoriented. Laid down in back seat unstrapped and felt better. Not taking that ever again. Arrived at Hertzler's in time for lunch-turkey, gravy, filling, green beans, corn, oriental salad, lettuce salad, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, rolls, strawberry and peach jam, cookies, coffee, and fruit salad. (We had the leftovers for supper along with caramel corn and ginger tea.) After lunch, we migrated upstairs and exchanged gifts and sang Christmas songs. Then we visited and played games all afternoon. Hit the sack over at Joe and Karen's around 8:30. I love this family.
Sun.-Leisurely breakfast of cinnamon and brown sugar coffee cake, homemade yogurt, fruit salad, grape juice, coffee, and homemade mozzarella cheese. They had made little loaf pans of mozzarella cheese and given them out to their elderly neighbors who rent them their land. I want to order the kit and make some. Gave us another reason to get a milk cow. Jonathan let me hold him all snugly and warm when he got up.
Great to be back at Hopewell where God's Spirit is moving in a new and different way. Visited with friends for an hour at church and came back to have lunch with Mom and Dad. The kids had all gone their different ways. Alli, Freeman, and Susan, had lunch at Anne and Dave's. Philip was with some other friends at Petra and Michael was with Logan at Living Rock. We all met at my brother, Abe's, around 4. My sister, Rosalee, Jim, and Katrina, were there. I had to cry when I saw Rosalee. It's such a relief to see her up and about although she is still running a temp. Kendra and Eric were there as well as Abby. Abby made us a DVD of movies Abie had taken in Christmas of '90 and Fourth of July, '91. They're great. Seth and Karisten came with their three children and Ethan, the youngest, warmed up to me and I flipped him around until I ran out of energy. We had such a relaxing visit with them. I love this family, too.
I have to mention the food that was there. Lindsay says that 100 years from now, people will be reading my blog to see what life was like 'back then.' We probably are not a true representative of mainstream America what with all our butchering chickens and canning soup, etc. but we represent some sort of America-land of the brave, perhaps.
For appetizers, we had a big circle of warm Brie cheese with crackers, Abe's homemade ham salad, cheese, and sweet pickles. For supper we had clam chowder, salad, regular filling, chestnut filling, regular scalloped potatoes, ham and parsnip scalloped potatoes, roasted halved carrots and parsnips, harvard beets, my mixed vegetables, red beet eggs, cranberry salad, Rosalee's pumpkin pie and cool whip, cookies, cakes, unusual popcorn, etc.
Before we ate, we sang 'Joy to the World' together, and I remembered last Christmas, when Mother was with us, and determined to remember her present constant joy, and that kept back the tears.
Philip and Michael left for home around 6 and got there at 11:30. Freeman and Alli went back to Annie's to spend the night, and Susan, Phil, and I, left around 7:30, and spent the night at a motel in Chambersburg. We slept soundly through the night and had a nice continental breakfast in the morning, and left for home around 7:30 and got home by noon.
Tues.-Got up really early. Glad that we have internet service again. Missed face book especially. It's a good way to keep in touch. Have been listening to 'Handel's Messiah' several times a day. It fills me. And helps me pray. 'Behold the Lamb of God.' I pray without words because sometimes, what more can be said, than, "Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away the sins of the world."
Kept my appt. with the doctor today to check lungs and toe. I'm glad I did. Have a sinus infection and my toe is infected also. She gave me a $48 dollar prescription for an antibiotic and scheduled me to have surgery this Friday to remove the nail to aid healing and to allow me to wear shoes. Feel relieved and that I don't have to keep being strong. There's a reason I'm so weary. Found Michael's airplane ornament at an antique store. I'm pretty tickled with an old Walt Disney toy that I can make into an ornament. I am getting each of the kids an ornament to symbolize something about their year. Hope they don't read this. Also got my shore girls some cute...Oh, I can't say this here. Naomi will read it!
Finished up the candle I made for Mom yesterday. I melted blue crayons in white wax and poured the results into a large empty raw honey jar. Then I glued glittery snowflakes around the outside and cut out a circle from a Christmas card that matched and glued it on the lid. It looks really nice and I realized how happy I am when I'm making something.
Went to Dr. Forand's with Susan and then we met Alli at Trinity and took her to Farmville with us. We dropped Susan off at New Life to prepare for her game and Alli and I went to the bank and to Discount Fabrics where I bought burgundy material to back The Last Supper piece. Then we got take out at Golden Palace and ate in the car in the parking lot. Then we headed to the game. Susan's team won their first game! I was sitting beside the wife of one of the refs. She is a professional coach and video tapes the games and they watch them in slow motion together and she tells him what he missed. It was educational and fun to be sitting beside her and I apologized to the ref for all the comments and loud noises coming out of my mouth that he will have to listen to as they hit 'replay.' I told her that Susan was my daughter and she said, "She is strong." Then I told her that it is her first year playing and she said, "I would never have guessed." The refs told Susan and Jenny that they were power houses out there.
The guys teams were a lot tougher. There were some injuries. Ron and Kathy's Travis hurt his ankle. Meredith was there and was checking it out. April was taking good care of him. Poor guy.
Most of the kids on the teams are homeschooled and it was fun to see the homeschool community rally together to watch their kids play. They could not be involved without New Life School and the School could not be involved without these kids. It's a win-win situation.
It was nice to see Sarah W. and her brother tonight. She's a real sweetheart.
Wed.-Busy day. Got haircut and ran errands in Appomattox. Stayed home in eve. with Michael and Susan and watched a movie, I think. All tired today. Wrapped gifts, made peanut butter fudge and caramel corn. Guys came home around 9. ( Rosalee's procedure to reopen the stitched ureter was successful today. When I got the news, I couldn't stop crying. So relieved.)
Thurs.-Guys left this morning at 3 to head to Fort Washington. Brought Dave P. home yesterday. He's not going back with them this week. Took Susan to cardiologist. He spent 6 months from the ages of 14-16 with the Amish Mennonites near Lanc. Pa. She's all clear. Asthma and perhaps anemic. Iron supplements recommended and better hydration. Should relieve symptoms. Took her to basketball practice and then I went to Belk and bought Phil his Christmas gifts. Another man and I were helping each other pick out ties to match the shirts we were buying. We both bought the tie the other recommended. I love the friendliness among southern Christmas celebrators. Sometimes it still surprises me. (Rosalee's having a rough go and is in a lot of pain. Still has fever.)
Susan and I watched her play 'Get Smart' when we got home on DVD. Guys surprised us (I found out at Belk) and came home this eve. instead of tomorrow eve. Freeman called Alli while he was walking in their lane and asked her to do him a favor. 'Please open the front door.' What a nice surprise!
Fri.-Getting ready for Christmas weekend with family. Went out to Appomattox, ran errands, (Naomi-keep your eye out for a pair of 'shoes' that are coming in the mail) and had surgery to remove more poor banged up toe nail. It just did not want to numb up and it was rough for awhile. She prescribed hefty pain meds and I should be feeling pretty good even though I'll have to wear flip flops for a few more days. The thought of wearing shoes again isn't appealing even in this cold weather. The nurse was very sweet. She helped me go to my happy place-the shore with my shore girls and her happy place-resting in a hammock beside a stream with a book in hand, birds chirping- during the worst bit of the surgery.
Philip worked on farm projects, Phil worked on paper work, Michael and Susan did lots of things. Philip and Susan went to the Lapp Christmas youth party in the eve. taking Lucy with them. Two more pictures for our Christmas newsletter were taken today. Now we need to print them and write a little under each picture. Then we'll get them mailed out some time after Christmas.
This week at Salvation Army, I bought Phil 3 pairs of jeans and 6 Ivy Crew shirts and also got a number of 1-2 dollar movies and DVD's. Pretty satisfying.
{Haven't been able to write for over a week. Internet people came out yesterday and discovered something had been fried during a storm. Glad to know the reason and forgive me if my
catch-up is disjointed. I'll be writing from previous hurriedly jotted notes. Wrote this on Jan. 1, 2013}
Sat.-Up at 4:40 AM. Had taken an oxycodone last eve at 8. It relaxed me but I didn't really sleep. On the trip up to Pa. I got very nauseated. Felt like my mind was leaving my body. Disoriented. Laid down in back seat unstrapped and felt better. Not taking that ever again. Arrived at Hertzler's in time for lunch-turkey, gravy, filling, green beans, corn, oriental salad, lettuce salad, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, rolls, strawberry and peach jam, cookies, coffee, and fruit salad. (We had the leftovers for supper along with caramel corn and ginger tea.) After lunch, we migrated upstairs and exchanged gifts and sang Christmas songs. Then we visited and played games all afternoon. Hit the sack over at Joe and Karen's around 8:30. I love this family.
Sun.-Leisurely breakfast of cinnamon and brown sugar coffee cake, homemade yogurt, fruit salad, grape juice, coffee, and homemade mozzarella cheese. They had made little loaf pans of mozzarella cheese and given them out to their elderly neighbors who rent them their land. I want to order the kit and make some. Gave us another reason to get a milk cow. Jonathan let me hold him all snugly and warm when he got up.
Great to be back at Hopewell where God's Spirit is moving in a new and different way. Visited with friends for an hour at church and came back to have lunch with Mom and Dad. The kids had all gone their different ways. Alli, Freeman, and Susan, had lunch at Anne and Dave's. Philip was with some other friends at Petra and Michael was with Logan at Living Rock. We all met at my brother, Abe's, around 4. My sister, Rosalee, Jim, and Katrina, were there. I had to cry when I saw Rosalee. It's such a relief to see her up and about although she is still running a temp. Kendra and Eric were there as well as Abby. Abby made us a DVD of movies Abie had taken in Christmas of '90 and Fourth of July, '91. They're great. Seth and Karisten came with their three children and Ethan, the youngest, warmed up to me and I flipped him around until I ran out of energy. We had such a relaxing visit with them. I love this family, too.
I have to mention the food that was there. Lindsay says that 100 years from now, people will be reading my blog to see what life was like 'back then.' We probably are not a true representative of mainstream America what with all our butchering chickens and canning soup, etc. but we represent some sort of America-land of the brave, perhaps.
For appetizers, we had a big circle of warm Brie cheese with crackers, Abe's homemade ham salad, cheese, and sweet pickles. For supper we had clam chowder, salad, regular filling, chestnut filling, regular scalloped potatoes, ham and parsnip scalloped potatoes, roasted halved carrots and parsnips, harvard beets, my mixed vegetables, red beet eggs, cranberry salad, Rosalee's pumpkin pie and cool whip, cookies, cakes, unusual popcorn, etc.
Before we ate, we sang 'Joy to the World' together, and I remembered last Christmas, when Mother was with us, and determined to remember her present constant joy, and that kept back the tears.
Philip and Michael left for home around 6 and got there at 11:30. Freeman and Alli went back to Annie's to spend the night, and Susan, Phil, and I, left around 7:30, and spent the night at a motel in Chambersburg. We slept soundly through the night and had a nice continental breakfast in the morning, and left for home around 7:30 and got home by noon.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Hertzler Doings-Dec. 10-16, 2012
Mon.-Did some wash and tidying up. Read Acts. What a movie that would make! Talked with Rosalee. I am concerned because she is running a fever. Hopefully, they did not pierce her bowel when they went into do their surgery. I wish I could be up there with her. I keep thinking how worried mother would be. No more worries for her. Alli stopped over to use the computer. Last time she was here, Ollie charged her. She was wearing a rust colored sweater. But now I am wondering if Ollie is upset that she is driving a red car. Red seems to get him raving mad. Guys went to work a few hours away. Susan wrote a report on Parkinson's Disease. She had basketball practice tonight. I mixed up a batch of gluten free dough. The idea is to keep it refrigerated and just take out the amount you need before you bake it. I want to try to make some gluten free cinnamon rolls for Christmas Day. And tonight, I may make myself a little pizza. Susan put up a new profile picture for me. It's a photo of Phil and I that she took a few weeks ago. People are putting up such kind statements. Face book is community. For those who watch over others, it can be a parish or church community. I have been encouraged by all the prayers for my sister. I have felt so very loved and it is comforting to know that so many are praying for her.
Tues.-Busy Day. Charlie C's funeral at church. What a legacy he's left in his children. Susan to co-op, then lunch with Judy at her new place in town, back to Susan to run errands, then to New Life to meet up with April for a basketball game in Charlottesville, which they played well but lost. I continued shopping even though I was feeling increasingly lousy. Delivered a red pointsettia from 'The Three Kings' in Pa. to the King house down here for a friend. Alli came over and we watched a movie. I went to bed and woke up when Susan called and met her at CC around 10. She drove home. Deep sleep through the night on Alkaseltzer Night time meds.
Wed.-Running a slight temp. Called to talk to Rosalee. Got message. Jim called back. Rosalee increasingly nauseated, continuing fever, severe pain. Asked me to send out emails. Before I was able to, and while I was on the phone with brother, David, Jim called back. Took Rosalee into ER, and that is all that I know at this time. (Tests showed air pocket under skin.) Spent the day resting and waiting for news about Rosalee. Michael came home! For a month!
Thurs.-Michael took Susan to get basketball pictures. I rested most of the day.
Fri.-Still have fever. Phil got home around 8. Phil, Freeman, Philip, and Dave P. are building a school in Fort Washington. Setting trusses. Traffic horrific up there. We missed the staff party.
Sat.-Feeling better. Cleaned a little. Toe worse. Rested. Phil and Tom Hx spreading black fertilizer all day. Went to Grunert party. Dear friends and traditional stuffing-John's family recipe using sausage, spinach, and bread. Plus turkey, gravy, ham, potatoes, green beans, sweet potatoes, apple pie, brownies, and ice cream. Missed the Mac party. No energy. Still no internet. Philip took Susan to see The Hobbit.
Sun.-Good service at church. Much heartache and sorrow in our midst and the world. CT school shooting took place this week. 20 children, 6 teachers, and 1 shooter-dead. Does Jesus care? I know He cares...His heart is touched with my grief...But we can still ask why. Jesus asks why. 'My God, why have you forsaken me?' and 'Why are you so fearful, oh you of little faith?' Because it's scary out there, that's why. If we could see our end from our beginning we would not be so afraid. That's where trust comes in. Because He sees and He says, 'Let not your heart be troubled. I will never leave you or forsake you. And when you leave this world, I'll bring you to myself, that where I am, there you may be also.' Meanwhile, arms are empty, aching to be filled. And lives will never ever be normal again. Oh God. Let the emptiness stay empty. Let it not be filled with busyness or pain numbing drugs or other people. Let the pain do its work. And let us put our hope in You.
Came home from church and Michael and Philip had arranged lunch for us. They had cut up the chicken and potatoes in the crock pot and had made a dish of raw vegetables and olives. Later, Michael and Susan joined the Warrens and other friends to see The Hobbit. Alli and I watched 'Elf' and a baking DVD. We're going to learn some gourmet cooking and baking this year from DVD's from 'The Teaching Company.'
Rosalee called and I realized that my cell phone hadn't been turned on so I wasn't receiving their updates. I thought she was recovering and since I was sick, I was trying to recover too. Couldn't talk without going into coughing spasms. Enough excuses. I just feel so badly that I didn't keep in touch with her. Long story short, after sonograms, Cat scans, hit and run drivers messing up their car, etc., continual pain and nausea, they have discovered that during the surgery to remove her uterus, that they stitched the tube shut that come from her kidney that gets rid of waste. They had to do surgery-very painful for her-to open up her back and insert a tube and she is now using a bag until next Wed. when they will try to go in and open it back up and insert a stint (stent?) or shunt. There is a 50/50 chance that will work and her doctor told her to pray. If that doesn't work, then they will need to do a more invasive lap. surgery. If you are reading this, please pray for my dear sister, Rosalee.
Tues.-Busy Day. Charlie C's funeral at church. What a legacy he's left in his children. Susan to co-op, then lunch with Judy at her new place in town, back to Susan to run errands, then to New Life to meet up with April for a basketball game in Charlottesville, which they played well but lost. I continued shopping even though I was feeling increasingly lousy. Delivered a red pointsettia from 'The Three Kings' in Pa. to the King house down here for a friend. Alli came over and we watched a movie. I went to bed and woke up when Susan called and met her at CC around 10. She drove home. Deep sleep through the night on Alkaseltzer Night time meds.
Wed.-Running a slight temp. Called to talk to Rosalee. Got message. Jim called back. Rosalee increasingly nauseated, continuing fever, severe pain. Asked me to send out emails. Before I was able to, and while I was on the phone with brother, David, Jim called back. Took Rosalee into ER, and that is all that I know at this time. (Tests showed air pocket under skin.) Spent the day resting and waiting for news about Rosalee. Michael came home! For a month!
Thurs.-Michael took Susan to get basketball pictures. I rested most of the day.
Fri.-Still have fever. Phil got home around 8. Phil, Freeman, Philip, and Dave P. are building a school in Fort Washington. Setting trusses. Traffic horrific up there. We missed the staff party.
Sat.-Feeling better. Cleaned a little. Toe worse. Rested. Phil and Tom Hx spreading black fertilizer all day. Went to Grunert party. Dear friends and traditional stuffing-John's family recipe using sausage, spinach, and bread. Plus turkey, gravy, ham, potatoes, green beans, sweet potatoes, apple pie, brownies, and ice cream. Missed the Mac party. No energy. Still no internet. Philip took Susan to see The Hobbit.
Sun.-Good service at church. Much heartache and sorrow in our midst and the world. CT school shooting took place this week. 20 children, 6 teachers, and 1 shooter-dead. Does Jesus care? I know He cares...His heart is touched with my grief...But we can still ask why. Jesus asks why. 'My God, why have you forsaken me?' and 'Why are you so fearful, oh you of little faith?' Because it's scary out there, that's why. If we could see our end from our beginning we would not be so afraid. That's where trust comes in. Because He sees and He says, 'Let not your heart be troubled. I will never leave you or forsake you. And when you leave this world, I'll bring you to myself, that where I am, there you may be also.' Meanwhile, arms are empty, aching to be filled. And lives will never ever be normal again. Oh God. Let the emptiness stay empty. Let it not be filled with busyness or pain numbing drugs or other people. Let the pain do its work. And let us put our hope in You.
Came home from church and Michael and Philip had arranged lunch for us. They had cut up the chicken and potatoes in the crock pot and had made a dish of raw vegetables and olives. Later, Michael and Susan joined the Warrens and other friends to see The Hobbit. Alli and I watched 'Elf' and a baking DVD. We're going to learn some gourmet cooking and baking this year from DVD's from 'The Teaching Company.'
Rosalee called and I realized that my cell phone hadn't been turned on so I wasn't receiving their updates. I thought she was recovering and since I was sick, I was trying to recover too. Couldn't talk without going into coughing spasms. Enough excuses. I just feel so badly that I didn't keep in touch with her. Long story short, after sonograms, Cat scans, hit and run drivers messing up their car, etc., continual pain and nausea, they have discovered that during the surgery to remove her uterus, that they stitched the tube shut that come from her kidney that gets rid of waste. They had to do surgery-very painful for her-to open up her back and insert a tube and she is now using a bag until next Wed. when they will try to go in and open it back up and insert a stint (stent?) or shunt. There is a 50/50 chance that will work and her doctor told her to pray. If that doesn't work, then they will need to do a more invasive lap. surgery. If you are reading this, please pray for my dear sister, Rosalee.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Hertzler Doings-Dec. 3-9, 2012
Mon.-Catch up day-Doing wash, tidying house, made chicken/rice/broccoli for supper in crock pot. Susan studying Science all day and then had basketball practice in the eve. Guys doing demo work at the Abbey. Alli over to use Internet. We mixed up a batch of Snickerdoodle batter and then chilled it while she went home to work and I worked around here. After I took Susan to meet Ashley, Alli came back over and we made Snickerdoodles and white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. Snickerdoodles are Alli's cookie of choice and the other is Philip's. (I make a cookie of choice that each person requests.) I froze a container of each for Christmas Day and for holiday sharing and had some left over for the family to sample. Alli and I watched 'Christmas with the Kranks' until the guys got home. Back to the chicken rice casserole. I made it in the crock pot. Instead of using cream of chicken soup, I used a can of coconut milk. It was incredible. I steamed the broccoli, cut up the chicken, added brown rice, added fresh lemon juice, garlic salt, soy sauce, and the coconut milk, and stirred it all together. It's all gone. Leftovers were packed for the guys lunches.
Tues.-Took Susan to homeschool co-op. Ran errands. She went out to Lynchburg with the girl's basketball team for their first game. I had some time with Dianna before coming home and putting groceries away. Weather was in the upper 60's-low 70's. Trying to figure out why my numbers jumped. Average about 20-30 hits a day. About two days ago, it jumped up to over 180. The only thing I wrote about that could explain it would be our experience butchering chickens. Readership is lower again today. I'm okay with that.
Wed.-Susan is a natural at basketball. And April is the world's best coach. Susan played for a little bit in her first game and made a basket. They lost but they played like winners. Today was a productive day. Susan made huge advances in understanding Anatomy and organized a file with anatomy vocabulary words. I made BBQ meatballs-had some for supper, some for the guy's lunches, and froze a container for Christmas day. Also made one of our chickens in the crockpot. I inserted half a lemon in it's belly and put horseradish and garlic salt all over the top. So juicy and tender. Also made gumdrops with applesauce and jello, pecan kisses, lemon cookies, and formed buck eyes. I want to get all of our baking done so I can take cookie platters to gatherings this season. I also want some of everyone's favorites on Christmas Day. Philip and Susan went to CC for evening services. Phil and I hit the sack early. Freeman smoked a little pig in his smoker at work today. The meat fell off the bones and apparently it was delicious. The weather was in the 70's and I had the windows open. Had a nice long talk with Rosalee. Her surgery is on Friday and she is fighting a cold. Also, today I washed the crocheted Last Supper in a gentle cycle and I spread it on our bed over towels and turned on the fan. It dried in a few hours. Now I need to tack it against some dark material and have it framed. It's huge. It basically covered our queen size bed. Thank you, dear late Richard Putt, for giving me this deep and delightful legacy that you crocheted with your own two hands. It is a treasure that our family will cherish until the day we eat the next supper with Him.
Thurs.-Made monster cookies which happen to be gluten-free! Dipped Buck-eyes and Ritz pb crackers in chocolate. Took Susan to meet Ashley and Bethany at Trinity for basketball practice. She loves the sport, her team, and her coach. After practice, she got a ride to New Life for Musical rehearsal.
Phil and I watched a DVD on discovering Noah's Ark on Mt. Ararat. I wish he could go to school and become a bonafide archaeologist, for he is one at heart. Shout out to Erin West right here. We at Hertzlerville love you!
My toe is hurting badly today. Hoping it is not infected again. Am thankful for the warmer weather because I can't bear to wear even loose slippers. Flip flops are my winter boots.
I was thinking today about how I used to teach my children how to take a troubling thought and lock in in jail in the name of Jesus and throw away the key. Philip still talks about doing that. Lately, though, I've found that when I am thinking overwhelmingly sorrowful thoughts, that if I think them in front of God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, they take turns ministering to the pain beneath the surfacing thoughts. They are good and kind and they give me grace to help in my needy time. And, instead of running away from Them when I think thoughts that I think They wouldn't like, I think them in front of Them, and the bad thoughts seem to go away. And sometimes, we even have a good laugh about it. They say things like, "Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm not big enough to handle this." Or, "Have I told you that it's your turn to worry about that?" Between the Three Of Them, there isn't anything They can't handle, but you wouldn't always think I believe that by watching my life. Faith is a process and when I have arrived, I will have arrived. Yippee!
I've been missing my Mother. I've been perusing the Christmas Cookie and candy recipe box that she gave me. I see cut out recipes mounted on cards with XXX written on them, meaning that they are especially good. I see her perfect handwriting on card after card and I see Grandma Landis's handwriting too. I thought that the cloth manger scene that mother gave me was from Africa. But underneath each figurine is glued a paper that says in capital letters, "Y.M.C.A. CENTRE; AQUBAT JABER REFUGEE CAMP; JERICHO-JORDAN." I'm listening to her Christmas CD's. And I am thankful. Thankfulness makes the sorrow sweet. I am thankful that it is not last year at this time.
Fri.-Woke early when Phil did and finished reading another MacDonald book. Wanted to get up but my toe hurt too much so I took a hefty pain pill-took it with some dried fruit and nuts, and feel back into a deep sleep.
I dreamed this dream.
My sister in law, Annie, was here, and she had set up tables in my kitchen where there was no room. Everyone was seated around the table, talking happily. Everyone meaning our whole family plus Annie. And I had nothing prepared to serve them. Freezers were full of food. Cupboards were full of food, and I couldn't get into the places to look for food because someone was sitting there in front of them, blocking the way. No one was upset. They were just waiting, knowing I'd come up with something soon. I woke up before I came up with anything. And I was glad to shake off the mildly disturbing dream.
One is not supposed to attribute great meaning to early morning dreams. But I must think about this dream. What does it mean? I must have things made ahead of time, prepared for a moment's notice. Spiritually. Emotionally. Physically. They must be attainable when the space is crowded. They must be ready to eat out of the jar. Like Peanut butter and jelly. As long as there is bread.
But the dream also showed me what FAITH looks like.
Faith expects.
Patiently waiting.
Cheerfully waiting.
Occupying the time by visiting with others.
Knowing that the answer is coming,
And acting like it's already come.
Bowl in place.
Utensils in place.
Water in place.
Ready to eat the answer.
Oh God, give me faith like this.
That laughs at the delay
even as Alli laughed in my dream.
That helps set the table for the coming Answer
even as did Annie.
That helps me look in the cupboard
even as Freeman did with a good natured grin.
That enjoys one another's company
as did Susan, Michael, and Philip.
While waiting they knew they would not leave hungry.
Holy, holy, God.
Thank you for this early morning dream.
Thank you for filling up my empty plate
with faith for the eating.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Made kale and bean soup, chicken salad with garbanzo beans, and made half a batch of sugar cookies, ginger snap dough, and froze a huge amount of cinnamon rolls. They will be ready to thaw and rise on Christmas day. Took Alli and Susan out to the musical to get ready and then I braved the rainy night and went out to Walmart. It looked like Christmas on Main Street what with the red tail lights and Green lights reflecting on the road and running into each other. I wanted to take a picture but the roads felt hazardous enough without me endangering others around me. Walmart was full and the clerk said that when it rains, people get depressed, so they spend money, so Walmart becomes crowded. She said it happens every time. I went back to the musical and sat with Betty Gibbs in the front row. It just gets better each time. I want to see it again and again. I love the depth and the simplicity of the plot. Without the search for purpose there would be no story to be sung. How well to remember this same truth in our lives. Without the search for Truth and Purpose-for they must be traveling companions-we would arrive at our destined end without scars and laughter and adventure. There would be no books written; no story to be told. He who is there to welcome us at the end of our search is also our travelling guide and our Friend along the way. Oh, why do we fear, oh, we, of little faith?
When I got home, there was a message on the phone from Jim. Rosalee came through the surgery well. The cancer was on the surface. She will not need radiation. Although weak and nauseated, she should be able to come home by tomorrow eve. I am deeply thankful for this good news in the midst of the bad news of cancer. Thank God for the miracle of surgery.
Charlie Carneal went to heaven this morning at 2:30. I watched his daughter perform with excellence this evening, in honor of her daddy. If he had still been in the hospital, he could never have seen her perform, but from his viewing point, I bet he didn't miss a thing.
Sat.-Made the rest of the sugar cookies, gingersnap cookies dipped in vanilla coating, and a trial leftover pan of cinnamon rolls, and also some sloppy joe mixture made with bear and venison meat. Cleaned the house a little bit. Susan, Alli, and Freeman, went to New Life for two more performances in the musical. Phil is not feeling well nor is Philip. They were working in dusty conditions and they seem to have a full fledged cold and sinus condition. We will skip the Jones/Guild party tonight and not spread this around. Peter and Ivona brought back the big pig grill and are checking our Philip's new pig pens. I've been taste testing everything I've been making and I feel lousy again. Michael went to the musical with some friends and will stop in later. Three more days of school next week and then he'll have a break until about mid January.
I was reading in my Bible Book, Acts, Chapter 13, and read where when John the Baptist was nearing the end of his course, he said, "I am not what you think I am. No, after me comes one whose shoes I am not fit to unfasten." John did not necessarily know that he was nearing the end of his life. I wonder what would happen if we took on his attitude; his character. Instead of thinking that we need to advance, step up, make more, be more, what if, we just did what we were born to do? We may increase in greatness as we do that, but that would not be our goal. What if we could say today and everyday to our families and the world we meet, "I am not what you think I am. But there is One you must know whose shoes I am not fit to unfasten." What if, like the unprofitable servant, we would just do our duty, without looking for a thank you. What if we would want God to increase and other's to increase and ourselves to decrease? What if we were humble and contrite in spirit? Then He would dwell with us in the high and holy place. He would come in and eat with us. and we would glory in knowing Him and not think twice about our works.
This is what I want.
This is what I long for.
To be anonymous in God.
And for God to be my all in all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sun.-Freeman and Alli went to CC to see Abigale and Serena get baptized. It was a sweet time and I was sorry to have missed it. I was challenged this morning to become more like Mary, the mother of Jesus, who was one who worshipped the Father in spirit and in truth. Here are a few sentences that I wrote down from Pastor Jerry's sermon: "God wants to birth a miracle through ordinary me in this ordinary town. We miss God's miracle because we are distracted by life's interruptions. The distance between the interruption and the miracle is very small." Mary's life was interrupted by the angel's announcement. The interruption became her miracle. She received the interruption-not completely without question, but with completeness-"Be it unto me according to Your word." Interruptions are not an end in themselves. They are the beginnings of something new. Oh God, give me faith to see. Rather give me faith to believe even when I cannot see. Grant me an humble heart that receives interruptions with the gracious attitude, 'Be it unto me according to Your word.'
After church we went to Tom and Helen's where we celebrated the girl's baptism with a delicious lunch. It's been so long since we've all been together. I needed to be with Helen and the rest of the family again. We came home and watched a movie they loaned us-"No Reservations" and I wanted to cook again. I mean, cook tonight, because generally, I want to cook. Cooking movies just make me want to cook for a living. My mother was the world's greatest cook. We had company meals at every suppertime. And since she was an artist who did not have time to paint, she created beauty with the food she placed on a table. We used to marvel when we'd go out to eat at a restaurant buffet and she would bring her salad bowl back to the table looking like a masterpiece. Our salads looked like a volcano had exploded. Her salad looked like a Rembrandt.
Susan, Freeman, and Alli, had one last musical performance today at 4. They are at the after-party as I write this. It will be fun to hear about the different awards. I'll write a little more after I hear from Susan. Ok. Apparently Freeman saved a lot of lives by knowing their lines too, so they gave him a whole book of lifesavers.
Tues.-Took Susan to homeschool co-op. Ran errands. She went out to Lynchburg with the girl's basketball team for their first game. I had some time with Dianna before coming home and putting groceries away. Weather was in the upper 60's-low 70's. Trying to figure out why my numbers jumped. Average about 20-30 hits a day. About two days ago, it jumped up to over 180. The only thing I wrote about that could explain it would be our experience butchering chickens. Readership is lower again today. I'm okay with that.
Wed.-Susan is a natural at basketball. And April is the world's best coach. Susan played for a little bit in her first game and made a basket. They lost but they played like winners. Today was a productive day. Susan made huge advances in understanding Anatomy and organized a file with anatomy vocabulary words. I made BBQ meatballs-had some for supper, some for the guy's lunches, and froze a container for Christmas day. Also made one of our chickens in the crockpot. I inserted half a lemon in it's belly and put horseradish and garlic salt all over the top. So juicy and tender. Also made gumdrops with applesauce and jello, pecan kisses, lemon cookies, and formed buck eyes. I want to get all of our baking done so I can take cookie platters to gatherings this season. I also want some of everyone's favorites on Christmas Day. Philip and Susan went to CC for evening services. Phil and I hit the sack early. Freeman smoked a little pig in his smoker at work today. The meat fell off the bones and apparently it was delicious. The weather was in the 70's and I had the windows open. Had a nice long talk with Rosalee. Her surgery is on Friday and she is fighting a cold. Also, today I washed the crocheted Last Supper in a gentle cycle and I spread it on our bed over towels and turned on the fan. It dried in a few hours. Now I need to tack it against some dark material and have it framed. It's huge. It basically covered our queen size bed. Thank you, dear late Richard Putt, for giving me this deep and delightful legacy that you crocheted with your own two hands. It is a treasure that our family will cherish until the day we eat the next supper with Him.
Thurs.-Made monster cookies which happen to be gluten-free! Dipped Buck-eyes and Ritz pb crackers in chocolate. Took Susan to meet Ashley and Bethany at Trinity for basketball practice. She loves the sport, her team, and her coach. After practice, she got a ride to New Life for Musical rehearsal.
Phil and I watched a DVD on discovering Noah's Ark on Mt. Ararat. I wish he could go to school and become a bonafide archaeologist, for he is one at heart. Shout out to Erin West right here. We at Hertzlerville love you!
My toe is hurting badly today. Hoping it is not infected again. Am thankful for the warmer weather because I can't bear to wear even loose slippers. Flip flops are my winter boots.
I was thinking today about how I used to teach my children how to take a troubling thought and lock in in jail in the name of Jesus and throw away the key. Philip still talks about doing that. Lately, though, I've found that when I am thinking overwhelmingly sorrowful thoughts, that if I think them in front of God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, they take turns ministering to the pain beneath the surfacing thoughts. They are good and kind and they give me grace to help in my needy time. And, instead of running away from Them when I think thoughts that I think They wouldn't like, I think them in front of Them, and the bad thoughts seem to go away. And sometimes, we even have a good laugh about it. They say things like, "Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm not big enough to handle this." Or, "Have I told you that it's your turn to worry about that?" Between the Three Of Them, there isn't anything They can't handle, but you wouldn't always think I believe that by watching my life. Faith is a process and when I have arrived, I will have arrived. Yippee!
I've been missing my Mother. I've been perusing the Christmas Cookie and candy recipe box that she gave me. I see cut out recipes mounted on cards with XXX written on them, meaning that they are especially good. I see her perfect handwriting on card after card and I see Grandma Landis's handwriting too. I thought that the cloth manger scene that mother gave me was from Africa. But underneath each figurine is glued a paper that says in capital letters, "Y.M.C.A. CENTRE; AQUBAT JABER REFUGEE CAMP; JERICHO-JORDAN." I'm listening to her Christmas CD's. And I am thankful. Thankfulness makes the sorrow sweet. I am thankful that it is not last year at this time.
Fri.-Woke early when Phil did and finished reading another MacDonald book. Wanted to get up but my toe hurt too much so I took a hefty pain pill-took it with some dried fruit and nuts, and feel back into a deep sleep.
I dreamed this dream.
My sister in law, Annie, was here, and she had set up tables in my kitchen where there was no room. Everyone was seated around the table, talking happily. Everyone meaning our whole family plus Annie. And I had nothing prepared to serve them. Freezers were full of food. Cupboards were full of food, and I couldn't get into the places to look for food because someone was sitting there in front of them, blocking the way. No one was upset. They were just waiting, knowing I'd come up with something soon. I woke up before I came up with anything. And I was glad to shake off the mildly disturbing dream.
One is not supposed to attribute great meaning to early morning dreams. But I must think about this dream. What does it mean? I must have things made ahead of time, prepared for a moment's notice. Spiritually. Emotionally. Physically. They must be attainable when the space is crowded. They must be ready to eat out of the jar. Like Peanut butter and jelly. As long as there is bread.
But the dream also showed me what FAITH looks like.
Faith expects.
Patiently waiting.
Cheerfully waiting.
Occupying the time by visiting with others.
Knowing that the answer is coming,
And acting like it's already come.
Bowl in place.
Utensils in place.
Water in place.
Ready to eat the answer.
Oh God, give me faith like this.
That laughs at the delay
even as Alli laughed in my dream.
That helps set the table for the coming Answer
even as did Annie.
That helps me look in the cupboard
even as Freeman did with a good natured grin.
That enjoys one another's company
as did Susan, Michael, and Philip.
While waiting they knew they would not leave hungry.
Holy, holy, God.
Thank you for this early morning dream.
Thank you for filling up my empty plate
with faith for the eating.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Made kale and bean soup, chicken salad with garbanzo beans, and made half a batch of sugar cookies, ginger snap dough, and froze a huge amount of cinnamon rolls. They will be ready to thaw and rise on Christmas day. Took Alli and Susan out to the musical to get ready and then I braved the rainy night and went out to Walmart. It looked like Christmas on Main Street what with the red tail lights and Green lights reflecting on the road and running into each other. I wanted to take a picture but the roads felt hazardous enough without me endangering others around me. Walmart was full and the clerk said that when it rains, people get depressed, so they spend money, so Walmart becomes crowded. She said it happens every time. I went back to the musical and sat with Betty Gibbs in the front row. It just gets better each time. I want to see it again and again. I love the depth and the simplicity of the plot. Without the search for purpose there would be no story to be sung. How well to remember this same truth in our lives. Without the search for Truth and Purpose-for they must be traveling companions-we would arrive at our destined end without scars and laughter and adventure. There would be no books written; no story to be told. He who is there to welcome us at the end of our search is also our travelling guide and our Friend along the way. Oh, why do we fear, oh, we, of little faith?
When I got home, there was a message on the phone from Jim. Rosalee came through the surgery well. The cancer was on the surface. She will not need radiation. Although weak and nauseated, she should be able to come home by tomorrow eve. I am deeply thankful for this good news in the midst of the bad news of cancer. Thank God for the miracle of surgery.
Charlie Carneal went to heaven this morning at 2:30. I watched his daughter perform with excellence this evening, in honor of her daddy. If he had still been in the hospital, he could never have seen her perform, but from his viewing point, I bet he didn't miss a thing.
Sat.-Made the rest of the sugar cookies, gingersnap cookies dipped in vanilla coating, and a trial leftover pan of cinnamon rolls, and also some sloppy joe mixture made with bear and venison meat. Cleaned the house a little bit. Susan, Alli, and Freeman, went to New Life for two more performances in the musical. Phil is not feeling well nor is Philip. They were working in dusty conditions and they seem to have a full fledged cold and sinus condition. We will skip the Jones/Guild party tonight and not spread this around. Peter and Ivona brought back the big pig grill and are checking our Philip's new pig pens. I've been taste testing everything I've been making and I feel lousy again. Michael went to the musical with some friends and will stop in later. Three more days of school next week and then he'll have a break until about mid January.
I was reading in my Bible Book, Acts, Chapter 13, and read where when John the Baptist was nearing the end of his course, he said, "I am not what you think I am. No, after me comes one whose shoes I am not fit to unfasten." John did not necessarily know that he was nearing the end of his life. I wonder what would happen if we took on his attitude; his character. Instead of thinking that we need to advance, step up, make more, be more, what if, we just did what we were born to do? We may increase in greatness as we do that, but that would not be our goal. What if we could say today and everyday to our families and the world we meet, "I am not what you think I am. But there is One you must know whose shoes I am not fit to unfasten." What if, like the unprofitable servant, we would just do our duty, without looking for a thank you. What if we would want God to increase and other's to increase and ourselves to decrease? What if we were humble and contrite in spirit? Then He would dwell with us in the high and holy place. He would come in and eat with us. and we would glory in knowing Him and not think twice about our works.
This is what I want.
This is what I long for.
To be anonymous in God.
And for God to be my all in all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sun.-Freeman and Alli went to CC to see Abigale and Serena get baptized. It was a sweet time and I was sorry to have missed it. I was challenged this morning to become more like Mary, the mother of Jesus, who was one who worshipped the Father in spirit and in truth. Here are a few sentences that I wrote down from Pastor Jerry's sermon: "God wants to birth a miracle through ordinary me in this ordinary town. We miss God's miracle because we are distracted by life's interruptions. The distance between the interruption and the miracle is very small." Mary's life was interrupted by the angel's announcement. The interruption became her miracle. She received the interruption-not completely without question, but with completeness-"Be it unto me according to Your word." Interruptions are not an end in themselves. They are the beginnings of something new. Oh God, give me faith to see. Rather give me faith to believe even when I cannot see. Grant me an humble heart that receives interruptions with the gracious attitude, 'Be it unto me according to Your word.'
After church we went to Tom and Helen's where we celebrated the girl's baptism with a delicious lunch. It's been so long since we've all been together. I needed to be with Helen and the rest of the family again. We came home and watched a movie they loaned us-"No Reservations" and I wanted to cook again. I mean, cook tonight, because generally, I want to cook. Cooking movies just make me want to cook for a living. My mother was the world's greatest cook. We had company meals at every suppertime. And since she was an artist who did not have time to paint, she created beauty with the food she placed on a table. We used to marvel when we'd go out to eat at a restaurant buffet and she would bring her salad bowl back to the table looking like a masterpiece. Our salads looked like a volcano had exploded. Her salad looked like a Rembrandt.
Susan, Freeman, and Alli, had one last musical performance today at 4. They are at the after-party as I write this. It will be fun to hear about the different awards. I'll write a little more after I hear from Susan. Ok. Apparently Freeman saved a lot of lives by knowing their lines too, so they gave him a whole book of lifesavers.
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