Friday, October 31, 2008

God's scales

I had written earlier in my blog that the only hope for our country is God's redemption of mankind. It's been bothering me. God has already redeemed mankind. I think that the only hope for our country is for the redeemed to live as The Redeemed. What does He say? If MY People...not, the Heathen, not The President, but, My People...If they would humble themselves, and pray, and seek My face, and turn from THEIR wicked ways, then I would hear from Heaven and forgive MY people of their sins and heal their land....

How many people is He talking about? What will tip His scales in favor of hearing us from Heaven? How many have to turn from their wicked ways? I don't know. But so often, in the Scriptures, we find that He looked for a person, to intervene on behalf of a people. What if He wants a million to repent? What if His count is at 999,999? What if He's waiting on you? On me? Or what if it would only take one person to seek His face? What if He's waiting on one of us? Regardless, we cannot point a finger beyond the face we see in the mirror. It takes time to seek His face. It is uncomfortable to humble ourselves. Who wants to consider one's own wicked ways? Could we possibly be that important? If we are not, who is?

Humble ourselves
Seek His Face
Turn from our wicked ways
He will hear from heaven
Forgive our sins
And heal our land~~

This is our only hope.
This is something we must do.
Will you? Will I?

A Psalm of Comfort~Ps.71:20,21

There is a dear lady at our church who is facing down a giant of cancer in her life. I am not close to her but I have friends who are. They are suffering with her as she runs her marathon. I am on the sidelines, cheering them on. Would you pray with me for her as I enter Psalms of Comfort and Strength for her on my blog? Thank you. God knows her name.

When my brother-in-law was killed in Thailand, I went through a dark time of sorrow. There was a verse God gave me that I soaked in daily, like a warm bubble bath. It helped a little. Then, one Sunday morning, our pastor spoke the same verse over the pulpit. I don't think it was even part of his sermon. As he spoke the verse, I physically experienced the warmth and love of God. It seemed like He picked up that bathtub that I had been soaking in and poured it over me, washing from me the rusty chains of sorrow, and giving me the freedom to be comforted. I knew I had been transported from a land where I was experiencing only the agony of sorrow into a land where I could experience the beauty of sorrow. And that's where I live today. This is the verse that I love. These are the words that comforted me.

Psalm 71:20, 21~ "You, who have shown me great and severe troubles,
Shall revive me again,
And bring me up again from the depths of the earth.
You shall increase my greatness,
And comfort me on every side."

Let it be so, for our friend. Lord, bless her with comfort on every side. Give her comforters on every side. Increase her greatness and revive her. Bring her up from the depths of the earth. Let us see your goodness to her in the land of the living. Amen.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My Little Chapel

Phil and I went to the shore and also to Blue Mountain Christian Retreat for our honeymoon. I made our food ahead of time and Phil gained 20 pounds in two weeks. He was so used to working hard at milking cows and he wasn't used to relaxing. Anyway, there was a beautiful little chapel in the woods at the retreat. We went there quite a bit, and prayed, and waited to hear from God. We decided that when we moved to our "permanent" place, we would build a little chapel in the woods. For our 21st anniversary, Phil offered me a diamond or a Gator. I already had a beautiful diamond he had given me several years earlier. He had bought the only perfect one in the store because he thought I was perfect. His words, not mine.
I've been loving that Gator. On our 25th anniversary, he took me on a little drive on that Gator. He showed me a place on the farm and told me that he wanted to build me a chapel there. I had forgotten all about our plans to do just that. And so, he built me a little cottage on the base of a small hill. It overlooks the fields that lead to the river. He built a porch with a railing on it and the boys plan on using that area as a treestand. We'll see about that. It's not quite finished. The cows were curious as to what was going on and broke into my little home and desecrated the floors. They ate the insulation that was stacked inside and the plastic pink wrapper was strewn all over the pasture. I paid Susan $5.00 to clean up the cottage floor.

Next week, a friend is coming to use my little chapel-cottage-tree stand-sugar shack. I am going to put a table in there and a chair and cover them with pretty white table cloths. I am going to put some candles and kleenex and a writing tablet and pen on the table. I am going to take some straw bales and form a little altar with them. I went to Salvation Army and bought a white duvet comforter to cushion the stray bales. I have several sweet paintings of flowers the I bought at a thrift store. I will put out a lawn chair on the porch. I am getting it ready for her to meet Jesus in there. I feel like He can hardly wait.

Today's Lilies

My mother started looking for the lilies in her day a long time ago. These are the things that bring joy and the special feeling of being glad that one is alive. Here are the lilies of my day.

Two wonderful things happened to me in school today. Both involve a little boy I'll call Jack. I was teaching them a new song and asked them to sit quietly on their mats with their eyes closed, and listen to the song. At the end of the song, the words, "Alleluia, Praise Jehovah," were swelling with the beautiful music. I looked down at Jack and his hands were lifted and his eyes were closed and he looked holy. He struggles with being 'holy'. He saw me looking at him and I said, "That is exactly what this song makes me want to do." Jack said, "When I got all quiet and patient, that's when I felt God move on me." It reminded me of the verse, "Wait patiently for the Lord and He will strengthen your heart." I like Jack's version; "Get quiet and patient and God will move on you."

A short time later, in the same class, I sang them a Christmas song that I had written for my children when they were small. You could see the lights go on in their little faces when they realized that Michael and Susan were my children. Jack jumped up and hugged me hard and then all the others jumped up and hugged me too. One cried out, "Group Hug!" Another child said, "I want to be your child." Thank you, Michael and Susan, for all the extra love that came my way today, just at the mention of your names.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Kindred Spirit

I discovered something really precious this weekend. I have a younger friend, whom I am supposed to be mentoring, who is much wiser than I and who has helped me as much or even more than I have ever helped her. Anyway, we were talking, and we discovered that when we were younger, we related to Jesus in a similar way. We would both move over to one side of our beds and hold out our hand, so Jesus could lay down beside us and hold our hand while we slept. How precious it is, that He knew, even then, that one day we would be friends, and we would hold His hand and each other's throughout the dark nights of life.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Blue Ridge Mountains

Yesterday, after church, Phil and I drove out towards Lynchburg and got on the Blue Ridge Mountain Road. The trees were beautiful, although next week, they may look nicer, unless this rain keeps up. We stopped at different look-out points. At one place, a number of families were having picnics. I saw some older couples just lying down together on blankets, oblivious to the sounds around them. The beauty of the trees and the blessed closeness of each others presence filled their senses. A little black poodle nestled in between one of the couples.

Visual beauty touches me in a melancholy, hopeful sort of way. I pray that we will always have the freedom in America, to go to church and worship God, and go for Sunday afternoon drives, and lay down on a blanket and be close to our loved one. May we always be able to walk our dog on the back roads at dusk. May we be able to have people over whenever we feel like it. May we always be able to express our opinion; spiritually, politically, philosophically, without fear of death. God bless America...Land that I love...Stand beside her...and guide her...If you don't, we're sunk.

Martyr's Sunday~Oct. 26

Are you aware that every 3 minutes, someone in the world is martyred for their faith in Christ? Sobering, isn't it? This Sunday morning, we had a number of people quietly walk out on stage, one at a time, and read the story of a martyred Christian. When they were finished reading, they walked over to a small podium and blew out a candle. Our pastor challenged us with the thought that these martyred brothers and sisters knew how to die for Christ. Do we know how to LIVE for Him? There were tea lights on mirrors on the steps on the altar, and the church folks responded to his altar call by coming up and lighting one of the candles as a symbol of wanting to be light in the world. It was a very moving service.

I was most challenged by the martyr I represented. As she and other Christians were being burned at the stake, they clapped their hands for joy. Thousands were watching them, crying out encouraging words,"The Lord comfort you!" "The Lord strengthen you!" "The Lord be with you." All the people watching them were amazed. I keep thinking that this is what we need to do when we are watching people suffer for Christ or suffer because life is full of suffering. What would happen if we got close enough to them to say,"The Lord bless you. The Lord comfort you. The Lord give you strength." There are different kinds of fire. Oh, to be able to clap my hands for joy in the fire, while my brothers and sisters watch by my side, shouting words of encouragement to keep me going. I want to do that for you. I need you to do that for me.

"It's gonna be worth it...It's gonna be worth it...It's gonna be worth it..." Stay faithful. Love God. Be strong. Go through the fire. "It's gonna be worth it..."

Ladies Retreat~Oct. 23~25

The retreat theme for our Ladies Retreat this year was "The Bloomery." It was about how to help make friendships grow like a garden. We had a wonderful time of fellowship with each other and Jesus. We acted crazy too. Every year I ask the Lord to help me to not make a complete idiot of myself. He never answers that prayer. Besides, I think He likes being the center of attention (for the most part) of a group of freed-up idiotic~acting women. I would share more but, "WHAT HAPPENS AT THE RETREAT, STAYS AT THE RETREAT." I can't wait until next year...

Monday, October 20, 2008


(I've found my old song file. I guess you can tell.) I wrote this song for our church in probably the early 90's. We sang it several times as a church but there were really too many words to make it a song easily sung by a crowd.


We long for you in a dry and thirsty land
We've put our trust in idols, and we've exalted man
Without your purging fire we will die within this place
Send a revival, so we may see your face.

Send a revival, Lord, send a revival, Lord
Purify our hearts, so we may see your face
Send a revival, Lord, send a revival, Lord
Purify our hearts, so we may see your face.

We've followed our hearts and they've led us astray
We are guilty and weary of our ways
We confess our rebellion and our shameful disgrace
Send a revival, so we may see your face


Replace our heart of stone with a heart of faithfulness

Fill us with your Spirit, your truth and holiness

Grant us the power to finish this race

Send a revival, so we may see your face.


Apply Your Blood

I wrote this song in the early 90's. I remember singing it up front at church with no instrumental back-up. Pastor V~~added his verbal prayers while I sang.

Apply Your Blood

Apply Your Blood to the wounds in my soul
Reveal your love to me and heal me with your truth
I long to trust you~to see your holy face
Apply your blood and make me whole

Apply your blood to the sins of my heart
Cleanse me again, O Lord~make me as white as snow
I need your mercy, I need your saving grace
Apply your blood, and make me whole

Apply your blood to the body of Christ
Tear down our walls of fear and feed us with your Word
Let faith and justice and mercy reign anew
Apply your blood, and make us whole~

Cry for Freedom~1986

I wrote this song in 1986. The ladies at the retreat that year wanted to sing it for the church when we came back. Over 22 years ago...

Lord, my spirit's been set free
Sittin' high in heaven
But, my insides cryin'
My soul's in need of love
Place your hand upon my head
Break those chains that bind me
Let me see just what I'll be
When you're finished with me.

I wanna' soar like the eagle soars
To try my wings and fly
Free to be just who I am
Free to love my brother

Walk me through this darkness Lord
Lead me to the light
Let the things that once caused shame
Give life to those around me
Poured out wine and broken bread
Jesus offers to you
To heal your body, cleanse your soul
To let your spirit fly

I wanna' soar like the eagle soars
To try my wings and fly
Free to be just who I am
Free to love my brother.


Written by my mother, Beulah L. Diffenbach~Published in Gospel Herald~April 2, 1963; written about the Artist Newswanger's old brick house at the corner of Creek Hill and Willow Road when its windows were red from a sunset.


A brilliant, flaming sunset,
A cataclysmic show
Gave sad, deserted houses
A rosy, radiant glow.

So, Thou, O Son of Righteousness,
Can cause a sin-scarred face
To glow with inward beauty
By Thy transforming grace.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

October 19th, 2008

Today was Pastor Appreciation Day. We have alot of wonderful pastors at our church. I am so thankful to be excited about going to church. I even enjoy going to the Business Meeting~never a dull moment. After church we hurried home and got ready for another Kenya Team gathering. We served rice and chicken curry again with various toppings. We roasted S'mores and hot dogs, too. The children had fun riding on the gator. Emma almost got ripped off my lap when the blanket I had her wrapped in got caught in the wheel and got rapidly pulled off her body. Later, her nerves were tested when I sat her in the driver's seat to open the gate, and Daisy, our long-horned cow, came up to investigate the dear little blonde head. Lindsay, her mama, was sleeping in our bed with her baby during all this and I told Amy that I was glad that Emma couldn't talk too much. Of course, I ended up confessing all of Emma's adventures to her later. Jr. entertained us with stories of his daily escapades on badly scaring people . He obviously wants to help people triumph over their worst fears. I told him that he should write a book called, "My Adventures of Scaring People." I asked Lindsay if she would buy a book like that and she said no. But she did say that she would read it in a blog. Some of the rest of the team has gone on serious antibiotics and are starting to feel better. Sara helped me clean up everything and Ernie helped Phil feed the cows. I sent them on their way with cups of hot chocolate. It was a cold and windy day; but the sun, fire, laughter, and friendships helped keep us warm. I wouldn't mind being with these folks every Sunday afternoon.

Chicken Curry Recipe:

12 T. butter
1 cup onion
6 tsp. curry
Saute until onions are soft.

Blend in 12 T. flour
3 tsp. salt
3 tsp. sugar

Cook until smooth and bubbly.

Remove from heat and whisk in: 4 cups chicken broth
4 cups milk

Boil 1 minute.
Add 8 cups chicken and 1 tsp. lemon juice
Serve over rice.
Sprinkle on toppings: Diced dill pickles, diced hard boiled eggs, chopped peanuts, celery, onions, raisins, pineapple chunks, shredded carrots, bananas, and anything else your heart desires.

I cook two chickens for this recipe and use the broth for the curry and the rice. Enjoy! This is a recipe my mother gave me that she got from friends who were missionaries in Africa.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Freeman's Archives~Take Ten

I wrote this about Freeman when he was a little guy.


The house is in a shambles
The garden's full of weeds
The trashcan smells suspicious
And the toilet bowl has needs.
But I am with my baby
And he's showing me the sky
An ant who's on a journey
And a flitting butterfly.

My housework never will leave home
But one day, all too soon
Our son will walk out of our door
Whistling Freedom's tune
So spend time with your Treasure
Don't fuss about the dust
Your baby is eternal
Your gold that will not rust.

Comfort Song

This is a song I wrote in the 1990's. I still sing it when I am by myself for different people in our church. I sang it for Leah when she lost Dave. I sang it for Marva when she lost Marsha. And today, I sing it for my dear friend, S.Natalie, who is singing it in her soul. Like I said, I sing it alone. They have never heard it. But the Holy Spirit has. There are three parts to this song. There is an intercessor, a soul in trouble, and God. You'll know who's who.

Holy Spirit, Come

Comfort those who mourn in Zion
Comfort those who weep alone
Holy Spirit, pour your oil
Holy Spirit, come.

I cry out to you for help
My soul is bowed in sorrow
Will I ever see your face again?
Will there be some hope tomorrow?

Comfort those who mourn in Zion
Comfort those who weep alone
Holy Spirit pour your oil
Holy Spirit, come

I will comfort those who mourn o'er their sin
I will heal the broken-hearted
I will defend and protect what is precious to you
I will pour my oil in Zion.

Will you be my hiding place
in the midst of the raging storm?
Will you be my guiding light?
There is darkness all around.

Comfort those who mourn in Zion
Comfort those who weep alone
Holy Spirit, pour your oil
Holy Spirit, come

I will come to you in the darkest of nights
I will come whenever you call
I have loved you my child with an unfailing love
I will comfort you in Zion.

Comfort those who mourn in Zion...

Oct. 12, 2008~Sunday morning~Take Two

Our pastor gave is a warning from 11 Tim. 3. We are living in perilous times. His three main points that portray the symptoms of the last days were the following; we will see misplaced love, deformed faith, and a rejection of the truth. His words stirred up my heart to be more deliberate in staying close to God and His Word. I left there, wanting to be pro-active instead of bunkering down and hiding until "it's" over. There are too many people who wil get lost in the shuffle if we bunker down and take care of only ourselves. We who are strong are to bear the burdens of the weak. I love that there are those stronger than I who are helping to bear my burdens and there are those weaker than I whose burdens I am helping to bear. This is the way the body works. We are not our own.

I am concerned for those who just don't make it to church on a regular basis for one reason or another. They were once active, and now, where have they gone? Perhaps they want the shepherd and sheep dogs to go out and find them and bring them back in. Perhaps they have legitimate offenses affecting their desire to fellowship. But, I want to say to them, " It's crazy busy here in the sheep fold. The shepherds have their hands full with the harvest as it is coming through our doors. If they have to run after you, they have to leave other sheep that need them. Could you come back to the fold and be part of the answer instead of the need? Can you see that it is time to grow up and take your turn at feeding others? It is time to feed yourself and be so full that you feed the shepherd even as he feeds you. It is time to eat your own bread so that just the crumbs that fall from your lips give life to those around you. You might not even know that this is happening.

Besides, it is alot safer in here with the people who have offended you than it is out there where you think you are safe from the reminder of them. You may not be like me, but, even though I've been in church all my life, if I start missing church, I find it easier to miss church. And it doesn't take long for me to be well on my way to wandering. I can't make it without the body of Christ, strengthening, encouraging, and correcting me.
As far as offense goes, haven't we all offended others? I know I have.

Please come back.
We love you.
We need you.
We're sorry.

I promise that you will be hurt and disillusioned once again. I promise that others will also need to forgive you. And I promise, that this imperfect, wrinkled bride, will someday be perfect and spotless and will see Her Kingly Husband coming in the clouds.

Not for any reason should you miss this Painful Process of Perfection and Purity.
Not for any reason should you miss the ecstacy of His coming in our midst with His Precious Powerful Presence and Peace.

Come be part of the agony.
Come be part of the dance.

11 Corinthian Treasures

11 Corinthians 7:1,9; 8:12, 21; 9:14; 10;17,18; 13:9,10~~~

Let us keep clear of anything that smirches body or soul~~I am glad I sent the letter, not because I want to hurt you but because it made you grieve for things that were wrong.~~After all, the important thing is to be willing to give as much as we can-that is what God accepts, and no one is asked to give what he has not got.~~(We need to be) absolutely above-board not only in the sight of God but in the eyes of men.~~(In regards to being faithful in giving )~~men will pray for you and feel drawn to you because you have obviously received a generous measure of the grace of God.~~He that glorieth let him glory in the Lord. It is not self-commendation that matters, it is winning the approval of the Lord.~~Our ambition for you is true Christian maturity. Hence the tone of this letter, so that when I do come I shall not be obliged to use that power of severity which God has given me~though even that is not meant to break you down but to build you up.~~

What does a Priest Do?

Revelation 1:5b,6~ "To Him who loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood, and has made us kings and priest to His God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen."

The note in my Bible says," The sacrifice of Jesus has given all believers the privileges that had belonged to ancient Israel. Has made us kings and priests is clearly a present tense reference to the believer's function now, in witness and in worship. "

I looked up Malachi 2:5b, to see what a priest does. "He (the priest) stood in awe of my name. True instruction was in his mouth, and no wrong was found in his lips. v.6~ He walked with me in peace and uprightness, and he turned many away from iniquity. v.7~People should seek instruction from his mouth, for he is the messenger of the LORD of HOSTS."

This describes Jesus, our Great High Priest, and as we live and move and have our being in Him, it will describe us, too.


Godliness is the devotion of the soul to God, as to a living person whose will is to be its law, whose love is to be its life. It is the habit of living before the face of God, and not the simply doing certain things.~

~J.B.Brown~Daily Strength For Daily Needs

It's a Cuss word

Last year, I was trying to teach a Christmas song to a younger class, and one little guy pipes up, " I hate this song." I said,"That's it. Go to the office." I know it may sound a bit severe, but it was his last strike. Besides, I didn't want to have his attitude permeate the rest of the class, so I had to remove him.
Later in the day, one of the teacher's asked me what had happened. He said that he heard the same class talking as they went by his room. "Never say 'hate,'" one child said to another. "It's a cuss word."

There's another cuss word besides 'hate' in my book. It's the horrible phrase, " I'm bored." It brings out the near-violent in me. I just do not think it is possible to be bored and if you are, it's your own #!* fault.
I will admit that I have been bored once in my life and it was last month at a meeting in the community. Someone was giving a power point speech after I had already sat through a business meeting and a lovely meal. I thought I was going to go out of my mind. I began to play the alphabet game from the words on the screen. I got part of my mind back but just barely. I watched others play survival games throughout the room. The collective amount of boredom in the meeting that night could have shut down an emergency room for a week.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


I think the reason Jesus got so angry with the Pharisees was because as religious leaders,
they were supposed to represent His Father to the lost sheep of Israel.

  Instead, they made His Father out to be a hard taskmaster, one concerned only with the keeping of the law and the appearance of holiness. They tied heavy burdens of duty on the backs of their people and didn't lift a finger to help them.

  And here comes Jesus, saying, "Take my yoke upon yoke is easy and my burden is light." He helped them carry any load they might have. He fulfilled the law. And He knew the importance of what was in the heart of man.

The Pharisees pretended to know God. Jesus was God. Is God.

We can be Pharisaical, too.
  Is that a word?

  We can give people a list of do's and don'ts and tell them that God won't accept them if they look like this, or think like that, or don't attend enough meetings, etc. etc.

Or, we can be like Jesus.
We can have His heart and see the treasure within each man's soul.
We can help carry their load and make their burden lighter.
  This does not mean that we are OK and they are OK.
  Jesus said,"Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more."

He accepted them, not their sin.
He called them up to a higher place.

His love and power gave them the strength
 to climb out of the pit of religious muck and Adam's pride.

His burning eyes affirm anew, that ," Yes, God did say what God did say."

His mercy is wrapped around truth.

Otherwise, He would only have pity, not compassion.
 Pity keeps one where one is.
  Compassion moves.
  He was moved with compassion to change their lives.
  He fed the hungry in soul and body, and healed them inside out.

The more I know Him, the more I like Him.
  The more I like Him, the more I love Him.

God's buy-back

Excerpt from today's devotional reading by Bill Freeman:

"...redeem literally means not just to buy, but to buy back. It means not just to purchase, but to repurchase.~~~To buy back implies that we originally belonged to God. We were already in His heart. We were already His property. Before we were born, before the foundation of the world, we were God's own possession and property. We got lost as His property. But He found us and redeemed us. He bought us back.~~~It is not merely a future salvation that we have~that we are going to heaven and not going to hell.~~~We have been bought back, repurchased at the price of the blood of Jesus, in order to be restored back to the purpose for which we were chosen in Him before the foundation of the world. !!!!!!!

This is not about survival and "just making it in." This is about abundance of life and knowing the purpose for my daily breath. Annie


Some of today's readings from 11 Corinthians are just too rich not to share. Taken from the Phillip's Translation~11 Cor. 3:17b,18; 4:6; 5:21; 6:8-10. Drink it in.

~Wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, men's souls are set free. But all of us who are Christians have no veils on our faces, but reflect like mirrors the glory of the Lord. We are transfigured in ever-increasing splendour into His own image, and the transformation comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.~
~God, who first ordered light to shine in darkness, has flooded our hearts with His light. We now can enlighten men only because we can give them knowledge of the glory of God, as we see it in the face of Jesus Christ.~
~For God caused Christ, who Himself knew nothing of sin, actually to be sin for our sakes, so that in Christ we might be made good with the goodness of God.~
~Our sole defense, our only weapon, is a life of integrity, whether we meet honour or dishonour, praise or blame. Called "imposters" we must be true, called "nobodies" we must be in the public eye. Never far from death, yet here we are alive, always "going through it" yet never "going under". We know sorrow, yet our joy is inextinguishable. We have "nothing to bless ourselves with" yet we bless many others with true riches. We are penniless, and yet it reality we have everything worth having.~

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

His soul-life in the blood

I did not always understand why God accepted Abel's sacrifice and not Cain's. After a time, I understood that it was because God required blood as part of an acceptable sacrifice. Abel complied. Cain brought vegetables from his garden. Then, I wondered why. Why blood? Just recently I read this devotional by Bill Freeman and it helped me to understand more. It may seem long and you may have to read it numerous times like I did, but it is worth the read. Enjoy.

"For the life of the flesh is in the blood, and I have given it to you upon the altar to make atonement for your souls; for it is the blood that makes atonement for the soul." Lev. 17:11

Have you ever wondered why the blood is so meaningful to God? Why is the blood the God-appointed way to know Him and to fellowship with Him? Why did God not take another way? It is because in the Bible the blood signifies the soul-life: "For the life of the flesh is in the blood." The word "life" literally means soul. It is the Hebrew word nephesh, and is the equivalent of the Greek word psuche. Both mean soul. So the first thing this verse shows us is that the soul-life is in the blood. The second thing is that the soul-life is assigned by God to be the factor of atonement upon the altar.

Throughout the history of mankind, there was only one Man with a sinless, perfect soul~Christ Jesus. Thus, when He went to the cross, the blood locked up in His veins was precious blood. It was the blood of a perfect, sinless soul, the only kind of blood that would avail in crucifixion, in death, to satisfy the Father. There was no other blood in this universe that could avail for us except the blood in those veins, because it was coming from His sinless soul. There on the cross He died without sin, and that blood was shed and poured out.

Because the soul-life of the flesh is in the blood, in the Old Testament, blood was sprinkled in the holiest of all before God, and was accepted there to make atonement for the sins of the people. That blood was a type of the blood of Jesus. Today His blood carries His soul-life. That is why you and I can drink the blood. And this is witnessed to by the Spirit. When we drink the blood, we have life in ourselves. This is because we are participating in the perfection of His thought life, His emotions, His will. His humanity was not left back there 2.000 years ago. His humanity is now in our spirit to participate in. To drink His blood is to drink the perfect soul-life of the Son of God, the last Adam who was made a life-giving Spirit for us to enjoy.~~~

So the blood straightens me up inwardly. It lifts my head up. The blood brings me out of the realm of fear and intimidation that comes from a conscience that is pained because of residual defilement over my being from touching contaminated things. There is not only sin, but contamination from sin. There is accusation, there is condemnation, there are mixed emotions. There is all this turmoil within. But the blood cleanses my conscience to clear up my inner being so that my heart is a true heart. There is not any feigned faith, but only direct, bold contact with God! I have no second thoughts, I have no residual condemnation, I have no effects of contamination in my being, because the blood has reached my conscience! The blood cleanses me from all unrighteousness, all pollution, all contamination. The blood cares for that. Not only my guilt is gone but my pollution is gone.

Mother's e-mail

My mother and I write e-mails back and forth. Today, one of her paragraphs reads: "I've finished going through my '05 and '06 book.(journal) There's a quote in back that I've been wanting to send you so that I can put it away and start a new one.
"By virtue of our union with a sinful race we reap the harvest sown by another's sin." F.B.Meyer
Then I added,'I read this on the morning of Johnny Hertzler's funeral who was also killed by a drunken driver.'"

After reading and re-reading that quote, I am thinking we could also say, "By virtue of our union with Jesus Christ we reap a harvest sown by another's righteousness."

Neither situation represented in those two thoughts could be called "fair."
Unfair pain.
Unfair gain.


Roman's 4:24,25~
"Righteousness...shall be imputed to us who believe in Him who raised up Jesus our Lord from the dead,
who was delivered up because of our offenses,
and was raised because of our justification."

He died for our offenses to justify us and because we were justified through His death on the cross, He was raised from the dead.

He did it all.
The Great Exchange.

While we're Young and Beautiful

My young friend, Regina, comes to help me clean house on Tuesdays while her sister, Ruth, does Phil's bookwork. Regina loves country music. She's been playing Carrie Underwood's CD. It's starting to grow on me. The other day, I began to belt out a song to Phil. "While we're young and beautiful~~Kiss me like you mean it." Freeman was horrified. Not that I was singing that to his father but that I was singing COUNTRY period. He said,"Mom, if you are going to sing Country, than I am going to have to leave. And he walked out of the house without even giving me a chance to not sing it again. Phil said, " At least now you know how to clear out the house." Now I've got that tune in my head again..."Cover me with sweetness~~~"

Missi's Strength Team

Our church recently hosted The Strength Team. These muscular guys share the gospel while breaking concrete, tearing telephone books and rolling up frying pans. My friend, Missi, couldn't find her forks the other day. She discovered that her two youngest sons had taken them outside and played "Strength Team." All of her forks were bent. Now she has no forks.

Who said, "Imitation is the highest form of flattery?"

While I'm talking about Missi~ The other day, I had this flashback of a memory. I was substituting at the local Christian school and was supposed to teach Algebra to a class of 8th graders. I loved Algebra once upon a time, but this time around , my mind went completely blank when I got up to teach it. I was honest with the class and told them that I forgot how to do it. I asked if their was anyone there who could teach the lesson to the class. Immediately, a young, bold, girl volunteered. She did very well and the students showed me respect even though I didn't have a clue about teaching Algebra. When I thought about this scenario, I got to thinking about that girl and wondered if it was Missi. When she called from Red Lake today, I asked her about it. She said that it was her. "I loved Algebra," she said. "And all of us kids loved you." It's a small world afterall.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Friendship Quotes

A dear friend gave me a book on friendship yesterday. I will be sharing quotes from it from time to time.

People are like islands. Sometimes you have to row around them to know where to land. Lloyd. J. Ogilvie

A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil~but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small silly presents every so often~just to save it from drying out. Pam Brown

To have you know my weakness is a hard thing. To have you know my weaknesses and still love me is a great thing. Jeanne Sheridan

But remember this, when we make the biggest fools of ourselves that is precisely the time when we need friends, and when they stick to us the tightest, if they are worthwhile. Gene Stratton-Porter

True friends visit us in prosperity only when invited, but in adversity they come without invitation. Theophrastus

Quotes taken from "I Found a Friend in You"

Mother's Journal Gems

Ezekial 33:31~"..they sit before you as My people and they hear your words, but they do not do them, for with their mouth they show much love, but with their hearts pursue their own gain." A scary description of contemporary Christendom~ even us. To hear and beware~

Dear Job,
I almost cry for you every time I read your story. I see again what a miserable, robbing creature Satan is. You are very sick, your wife even suggests that you deliberately die, you don't even have your children to care for and comfort you. What a loss that would be! And these friends. They were a wonderful support in the beginning. They sincerely grieved for your condition. Job 2:11,12~Then they sat down with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights, no one speaking a word to him~~v.13. In the aloneness of no family, this would have been very comforting and sustaining. How many of us would be willing to do this for 7 days!

Psalms 87:7~~"All my fountains are in you." Just to picture the beauty and dance of a fountain~the result of the Lord Jesus in my life is exhilarating. A well of water springing up~as Jesus said.

Jesus could have been so offended at the disciples protest about His being anointed with the perfume~calling it a waste~Matt.26:8. Instead, He defends the woman. "Why do you embarrass the woman? She has done something lovely to Me." v.10 Judas especially would have been upset about it not being sold at a good price. v.9 And right after this he offers to hand Jesus over to the chief priests for 30 pieces of silver. v.15

Psa.32:10b~~He who trusts in the Lord shall be encircled with lovingkindness. What a nice situation to be in! What an incentive to trust!

Mark 2:27~ The Sabbath came for man's sake. And to me, it really is a gift. Without guilt I can read, sleep etc. As with all God's prohibitions, it is for man's good and blessing. Yet man sees them all as something God is denying them. Satan's strategy already in the Garden of Eden. 'He won't let you have this because...etc.' When will we ever 'get on to him?'

Spring Song~2008

My brother-in-law, John, would write a new song and say that God had taught him the song.

God taught me this song, this spring.

Lift Up Your Head

Come unto me
All you who are weary
You who are broken
In spirit and soul
I am your healer
I am your friend
And I will never leave you
From beginning to end

So lift up your head~your redemption draweth nigh
So lift up your head~your redemption draweth nigh

Do not be discouraged
Do not be dismayed
I hold the keys of life and death
I am the God who sees
To you who overcome
I will give a crown of life
And you will eat at my table
Which I've spread for you

So lift up your head~your redemption draweth nigh
So lift up your head~your redemption draweth nigh

Alpha and Omega
Beginning and End
Savior, Messiah
Redeemer, Friend
Lion of Judah
The Bread of Life is HE
Reigning King and Lord of Lords
He's coming Back for me

So lift up your head~~repeat

He knows my name, He knows my name, He knows my name
He loves me best, He loves me best, He loves me best
Lion of Judah,
The Bread of Life is He
Reigning King and Lord of Lords
He's coming back for me!

So lift up Your head! Your redemption draweth nigh
So lift up your head~Your redemption draweth nigh~

Freeman and Philip Archives~Take 9

Mary Ann, our neighbor, said Freeman gave this solution to keeping peaches on her tree~~"Tie a string around the branch or glue or tape the peaches to the branch." He said that this is what the paper said that came along with our fruit trees. Phil told Mary Ann that he'd make sure he'd get that paper to her when he finds it.

May 1990~"My chicken pox are dead." (Freeman)

Freeman and Philip were snuggling together in Freeman's bed (first time like this) and wanted to sleep together. I said that I'd be back soon to put Philip in his crib. Five minutes later, I came back and said to Philip,"Are you ready to get back into your crib now?"
He picks up his head, looks at me and states,"NO WAY!"
He laid his head back down beside Freeman. In the process of them falling asleep, Freeman sighed out numerous groans and "Oh mys." I checked on them about five minutes later and they were smack together, fast asleep.

This is the end of one journal that I kept. I will look for more.

Strange Malady

Written by my mother~B.L.Diffenbach~
Published in The Gospel Herald~April 29, 1986

Strange Malady

What ails the
That attacks its own
Rather than the
That lies in

Yet members of Christ's
Do it again and again and


Written by my mother~B.L. Diffenbach~Published in The Gospel Herald~January 9, 1968


I looked at my faith
I looked at it long,
I lamented the fact
That it was not strong.
And then He spoke so tenderly,
"Don't look at your faith, child.
Look at Me."

Hidden Things

Hidden Things

Hidden pain
Hidden desires
Hidden shame
Hidden parasite
Hidden Lymne's Disease
Hidden jawbone infection
Hidden tumor
Hidden havoc on my body, soul, and spirit

Hidden Word in my heart
Hidden riches of secret places
Hidden wisdom from God
Hidden person of a meek and quiet spirit
Hidden manna to eat
Hidden name written on stone
Hidden Life to my body, soul, and spirit

Sunday Evening Service~Oct. 12, 2008

The Kenyan team shared last night at church. They showed slides and brought the household items they had bought from the Pokot people. Each one that was there talked about why they went and what was significant to them. The downstairs room was full and our worldview and hearts became full as we heard about the life-changing experiences of the team. They want to go back. They want others to go back so they will understand. The poorest of the poor in America are rich compared to these folks. But they are wealthy in their love of God.
The Pokot people do not show affection towards their children. They try not to get attached because there is a great likelihood that their child will die before he/she reaches adulthood. If the mother gets attached, she would get depressed if she would lose her child, and the family would be in trouble. It is the woman who builds the house and gets the food. The men fight and hunt. Women have little value. Their value is measured in the number of goats or cattle that a man offers in exchange for them. The team showed affection to the children and the children responded. By the end of their week there, the parents were beginning to show affection to their children. They were beginning to see that love costs more but pays more too.

I have loved Africa for as long as I can remember. Perhaps it is because of my mother's missionary friends that would visit in our home. Most of them lived in Africa. I heard their stories and ate their food and my mother put their beautiful gifts on the mantel of our fireplace. I don't have to wait until "someday" to go. I can go now through my prayers and undergird those who are already there. John and Terry offer the Pokot's clean water, physically and spiritually. God give them strength and courage. God give them wisdom and love. God give them hope. God give them peace. God help them. You'll be glad You did.

Don't ever die

Yesterday, at church, I got my hug from Ms. Fisher. Something happens when we hug and we both know it. Somehow, we feel hugged by God Himself. I took her face in my hands and said, "Don't ever die." And she said, yes, she did," I won't, Precious. I will go up with you when He comes. We'll be hanging onto His foot or His toe. We'll go together." Her voice is like the Balm of Gilead. And I believe her words. I will live like they are true. Someday, someone will speak them and will not die. Why not Ms. Fisher? Why not I?

Kenya Team Gathering~Oct.11, 2008

On Saturday eve. most of the missions team that went to Kenya came to our place for an African meal and fellowship. We had the best of times. We ate chicken curry and rice and put on an odd assortment of toppings; dill pickles, chopped peanuts, coconut, grated carrots, onions, raisins, pineapples, etc. Those who had photo albums shared them and we heard story after story. I found out things I didn't know. Phil gave his work boots away to Johnny's right hand man. He had to show him how to tie his shoes. Karen wanted Jr. to protect her from any man that wanted her to build a house for him. (They have numerous wives over there.) Jr. didn't go mountain climbing because , in his words, " I am too fat to climb that mountain." Jr. also had to delete some pictures because no one wears underwear over there. Need I say more? The mamas washed the teams clothes by hand and were paid to do it. The spears were stuck together with glue made with spit mixed with sugar and then they would weld it by putting it over the fire. Sometimes they would use their own
blood for glue. Phil trained Johnny's dog to sit within minutes and the men were amazed at him. We had other strange fun. The girls had gone for a walk down the lane in the dark with just a flashlight or two. Cheri was going home. She took Michael, Philip, and Nick out with her and dropped them off behind some hay bales. They jumped out to scare the girls as they walked past. They were wearing hideous face masks and we heard their screams. How can it be so funny when someone you love is getting so scared? I don't know, but it is. Susan wasn't scared because she recognized the faces but Jr. and Amy thought it was hysterical that Chelsea was getting spooked out her mind. I laid in bed that night and while Phil lightly snored beside me, I shook the bed, thinking of the funny things that had happened that night. As always, we had a campfire and roasted marshmellows and were reluctant to have our friends leave the comfort of its light and our love for one another.

Appomattox Railroad Festival

On Saturday, while Phil and Tom were chopping silage and the boys were busy with their activities, I took Susan to the Appomattox Railroad Festival. We stood across from Country Charm and waited for Lydia, Susan's friend, who we kept us company for part of the day. We watched a parade go by. Our school, Cornerstone Christian Academy, had a float and I think we won 2nd prize. I was too busy waving and yelling out the children's names to see what theme our float had, but the kids were wearing orange life jackets.
After the parade, we visited the stands. The vendors were selling jewelry, books, wooden crafts, pets~you name it. Lydia bought a hamster on impulse, but later went back to get her money back. Susan and Lydia waited in line several times for some gut-wrenching rides, but fortunately, the one ride broke as they were all strapped in and before they had time to lose their breakfast, and the other ride's line was just too long. We had a nice lunch of potato swirly fries and a very expensive greek salad.
There is a part of me that avoids a crowd. I feel claustrophibic and a little afraid. But there is another part of me that looks at a crowd like that and I get the same feeling I do when I see the lights of a large city at night. I hear the eternal voice saying with certainty and longing, " For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son; that whosover believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." And I want to gather all the people into my arms and give them to God so He can love them and they can love Him back.

Science Lesson

Newton's law of inertia~"An object in motion tends to remain in motion unless an outside force is applied."

"This is me at 50" series:

Sometimes, when I am walking and come to a quick stop, I think someone is coming up behind me. But, it is just my upper arms, taking their time to slow down.

This is a true story.

Biggest laugh so far

The other night, I told Phil a story about a little girl and her mother in a grocery store and what the little girl said to a husband and wife which put her mother and the man in defensive mode and I really can't write it here because it is x-rated even though a little girl said it but I just want the giver of the story to know that my husband and I have never laughed so hard about anything in our entire lives. We were bent over double (laughing) in bed and for that wonderful laugh, I just want to thank you, Nanette.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

More Gems from Mother's Journal

Death to David would not have been a time of mystery. Neither would he have had a fear of the unknown for he was told by his God,"And it shall be, when your days are fulfilled, then you must go to be with your fathers." (1 Chron.17:11)

This idea that they are pushing that God is mother or female is ridiculous. Why would the church be His bride? And here in Hosea 2:2 God said, "For she is not My wife, nor am I her Husband."

11 Kings 18:4~Hezekiah broke in pieces the bronze serpent that Moses had made, for until those days the children of Israel burned incense to it. Satan, I'm sure, felt good about this irony. The serpent, being a type of Jesus being lifted up, became an item of worship rather than a reminder of salvation.

Amos 5:10~They hate the one who rebukes in the gate, and they abhor the one who speaks uprightly. Even so today~in the national and political arena~the religious right etc.~anyone who is against abortion and homosexuality.

I've noticed that at those times when the children of Israel returned to the Lord and worshipped, that their singing was accompanied by loud instruments~11Chron.30:21~And I usually smugly tolerate that, but the churches who have those times of loud praise are the ones that are growing.

And the people were strengthened by the words of Hezekiah~11Chron. 32:8~How often words can strengthen or weaken or condemn, encourage, etc. What do the proportion of my words do? As I think how much I need strengthening words, so may I try to do for others.

Josiah, that wonderful godly king encouraged them (priests) for the service of the house of the Lord.~11Chron 35:2~We are not kings but it shows that encouragement if necessary to those who serve God and something we can do. (No matter which kitten is here, they insist on lying on my Bible). In his instruction to the Levites~3-6~Josiah mentions David, Solomon and Moses. He knew his "Bible". Aaron and Samuel are mentioned later, also.
In the end, Josiah became headstrong also and refused to listen to the warning of Necho from the mouth of God~22~who said "Refrain from meddling with God~V.21~So he died an untimely death which was a loss also to those he led and influenced. Lesson? God can speak to us for our good through those who are not 'His people.' Becoming older does not mean becoming too wise to not need and accept advice in our daily activities and walk.

And When They Had Sung A Hymn

Tomorrow, I am going to take a framed poem into school. My mother wrote this poem and I love it. You will too.

And When They Had Sung A Hymn
Matthew 26:30

Wouldn't you like to have heard Him sing?
~This man from Galilee?
The Creator of the Universe
The master of land and sea,
Savior of the sick and sinful,
Bringing hope and harmony.
Wouldn't you like to have heard Him sing
that night before Calvary?

Beulah L. Diffenbach

I am going to put this on the piano at school and watch the children become aware of it and the truth it portrays. Don't you want to hear Jesus sing? Surely He will sing a song to His bride. Surely He sings over us and dances for joy. But I can't wait to hear Him with my physical ears instead of just by faith. I bet He has perfect pitch.

Another Day to become sanctified

Today as I was driving to school to pick up my carload of children, a red sports car came around the corner. He was going too fast and he was in my side of the road. I braked and waited. He saw me just in time and swerved to miss me.
Guess what word I said?
I'll give you a hint. J~E~


I bet you thought I was going to say "Jesus!" as in "Jesus~Help me!" or "Thank-you Jesus!"

I'm so glad sanctification is a process and that I've been given some more time in which to become more sanctified.

Ready for School

Yesterday, Susan and I went over to the new school building and set up my music room. The halls were crowded with boxes and teacher's belongings and I doubted whether we would have school today. I was amazed at the transformation. After several hours, the maps were on the walls, the book nooks were set up, the carpets and desks were in place. I wanted to be back in Kindergarten and First grade again. Those rooms and their teachers were so inviting.

The students that were there helping their parents set up came in and out of the music room. They were playing the piano and singing. One student was telling me about the new guitar he wants to buy after he sells his horse. He is a boy whose name you will hear someday. He makes beautiful music with his voice and guitar.

One third grade boy came up to me. He has brown hair, a brown tan, and liquid brown eyes. He said," Now we can dance." "That's right, Sam, " I said. "Now we can dance."

We couldn't dance in the other building without causing lights and brains to flicker on the floor below us.

But now, we can dance.
And we'll dance, Sam, we'll dance.

Radiant with Hope

Romans 15:13~

May the God of hope
fill you with joy and peace
in your faith,
that by the power of the Holy Spirit,
Your whole life and outlook
may be Radiant with Hope.

God's Faithfulness

When I was in 3rd or 4rth grade, we had a school assembly with a missionary from Red Lake being our featured guest. She was an aunt of a classmate of mine. She showed us pictures of the children's home and when it was over, I said, "When I graduate from high school, I am going to work in the children's home in Red Lake."

And I did.

My father and mother drove me up north for 30 some hours to a remote area. If you wanted to go farther north, you would have to fly a plane. As we drove around the streets of town, we saw drunk Indians in the middle of the day. I remember my dad saying,"There comes a time in everyone's life...when they should turn around and ...go home."
I knew no one there but soon made alot of friends with the children's home staff and there was an older woman in the mission with whom I spent much time. She had never been married. On my days off, I would go to her place and we would talk about the deep things of God. She taught me to love Oswald Chambers and the Holy Spirit's work in my life. She taught me about humility and serving those who were unkind because she had done that in her life.
I am not sure how far into my year of service it was, but one day, when we were talking, it came to light that she was the aunt of that boy in my class in 3rd or 4th grade. She had shown the pictures and I had felt the call. It overwhelms me even now, when I think about it. Makes me weep. God has always been with me. And He has always been with my friend, Anne. ( When I got married, she gave me a beautiful painting that she had painted with her own servant hands. )
I know I was an answer to her prayer at that time in her life those many years ago. And she sure was an answer to mine.
Great is Your faithfulness, O Lord. I will tell of Your wonders.

Saturday, October 4, 2008


My mother would read to us at least an hour every night. Even after the TV came along and others would be watching, she would read to me. I am so thankful. This is a poem she wrote in the 1950's from a child's perspective.


Our house isn't as big
As the one next door
We need paint on the walls
And rugs on the floor
But I am as rich as rich can be
I have a mother who reads to me.

We have a big yard
But it isn't as neat
As lots of the other lawns
On our street
But I am content as I can be
I have a mother who reads to me.

And we do not have
The best thing in clothes
The shirt that I'm wearing
Used to be Joe's
But I am as proud as I can be
I have a mother who reads to me.

Oh, we do not own
A shiny, new car
With push-button windows
And hydraulic power
But I am happy as I can be
I have a mother who reads to me.

Our trips never take us
Far out-of-the-way
My dad doesn't have his
Vacations with pay
But I have trips across the sea
Since I have a mother who reads to me.~~~

Pets I remember

My mother is an animal lover.
We always had pets and now I wonder, if they weren't really her pets.
We had a horse named Shiloh who came to a tragic end on the highway after figuring how to open his gate. My brother, Alan, loved that horse and taught me how to ride him with abandonment.
We had a pony named Tony who bucked us off one too many times and I think we gave him away.
We had a donkey who would sometimes run off to the trailer court nearby and give my mother something to swear about, but I don't think she did.
We had goats.
We had a sheep named George. George was bottle fed and when he was a big fat sheep, he would still come baaing at the kitchen door and we'd let him in and we would give him a bottle. ( Can that be an accurate memory?) We finally gave George to someone who had other sheep and before you knew it, George had twins.
We had rabbits and guinea pigs.
We had dogs~Tippy, Puppy, Charcoal...and some others. Their suffering always broke my mother's heart and I have tried to never love another dog again, but I haven't been successful.
We had a cat, named Amber. Only after we all left home did my dad allow cats in the house and then he pampered them like spoiled grandchildren. It was amazing to see. Unbelievable, really.
We had banty roosters. We each had one and mine was named Rusty Brown. He would come running when I'd call his name. He'd be going 100 mph and when he got within 6 inches of my lap, he'd come to a screeching halt and peck around self-consciously in little circles, until I'd pick him up. One time, I brought him into our house and my Grandpa Landis tied a hankerchief around his rearend to make him look ridiculously and to save on clean-up.
We had a parakeet that would climb up our arm and shoulder and kiss us on the mouth.
We had hamsters. Now, my hamster taught me to believe in God. He would get out and I would pray desperately for God to help me find him . I'd put out some lettuce in front of a little hole that we had in our kitchen cabinets and lie in wait with a flashlight. God would answer my prayer and I would capture the little culprit and he would be safe for another night.
We had numerous fish and I had a pet turtle once.
We did not have any snakes or frogs or lizards.
We probably had ducks at one time or another. When my mother was little, she had ducks, and during a wild thunderstorm, she went outside and sat in the rain with them tucked under her skirt so they wouldn't get wet.

I am sure I am missing someone. That's a pretty wild list isn't it?