Smart Sanctified Cats

My mother has three cats. Now these cats love her and her only. The only one I ever get to touch is Buffy and I have to be sneaky about it. I pet her when she is asleep under mother's sheets and I try to fool her into thinking I'm Mother. She gets suspicious though when she feels herself being petted and hears Mother's voice coming from the other side of the room.

I read medical newsletters because I like to pretend that I'm a doctor. When I grow up, that's what I want to be, along with other things like being a grandmother, for instance. Anyway, I read that there is a machine that puts off the same decible sound/vibration that a cat makes when it is purring. This machine(when attached to a body) is helping people with osteoporosis(spelling?). It appears that a cats purring creates some sort of healthy vibration that helps peoples bones become stronger. My mother has strong bones. Those cats purr all over her. I keep getting side-tracked here.

My mother reads the Bible and loves God more than any one else I know. She also reads classics and I'm not talking about Prince and the Pauper here. I'm talking about Augustine and Madam Guyon and Fenelin, and the like. I try to read the books she reads and I read the same sentence multiple times. I've taken to just reading her favorite quotes from them that she records in her journal. I only have to read those two or three times and then I write them down and put them on my wall for a year and then I start understanding them.

What I am trying to say here is that mother is an avid reader and the cats are in bed with her. Whenever she reads her Bible, they lay on top of it and stretch out all over the Written Word. They don't do that with the classics. Just the Bible. Smart Sanctified Cats.

"My Mommy's Got a Gun!"

I think Susan was about 3 and Michael 8 when I took them to Dr. Hubbard for a physical. They were stripped down to their underwear and were prancing around the room when he came in. He was looking at their charts when Susan proclaimed,"Michael's wearing underwear and I'm wearing underwear, but my mommy's NOT wearing any underwear!"

I shook, helpless and red with laughter, knowing that there was no way to properly defend myself. Dr. Hubbard said as he kept looking at their charts,"Oh the things we learn."

As luck would have it, if I believed in luck, I took Susan back the next week for some reason. As we were waiting in the little room, she passed gas and it was obvious if you get my drift. Just then, Dr. Hubbard and an intern came cheerfully into the room. Susan announced,"My mommy just passed gas!"
It was too much. " I did not!" I defended myself. I know he didn't believe me.

The next week, I took Michael back to the doctor. "Where's Susan?," Dr. Hubbard asked with a knowing grin. I wasn't about to give him any more ammunition for his book. She was safe at home with Grandma Hertzler.

It was around the same time that I went to the dentist with Susan. We were standing at the door facing a waiting room full of people. I think I even had my hand in my purse when she declared to them all," My mommy's got a gun!" I looked guiltily about and weakly said,"I don't have a gun." I got the vague impression that several of them were thinking about becoming heroes. And the rest of those mortifying moments are hidden behind Memories Merciful Curtain.

Philip's Prayer

Some years ago, I had a neighbor friend who loved God dearly and expressed that love in a number of different ways including the use of the phrase,"O my God!"

Philip picked up on her phrase and although I didn't mind so much my neighbor saying it I didn't want my three year old going around exclaiming,"O my God!" anytime something exciting happened in his little life.

I explained to Philip that it was best to use that phrase when we were praying to God. A short time later, something excited him and he cried,"O my God!" I looked at him. "Praise the Lord! Thank you Jesus!" he continued, rescuing himself from any serious rebuke I might have given him.