"My Mommy's Got a Gun!"

I think Susan was about 3 and Michael 8 when I took them to Dr. Hubbard for a physical. They were stripped down to their underwear and were prancing around the room when he came in. He was looking at their charts when Susan proclaimed,"Michael's wearing underwear and I'm wearing underwear, but my mommy's NOT wearing any underwear!"

I shook, helpless and red with laughter, knowing that there was no way to properly defend myself. Dr. Hubbard said as he kept looking at their charts,"Oh the things we learn."

As luck would have it, if I believed in luck, I took Susan back the next week for some reason. As we were waiting in the little room, she passed gas and it was obvious if you get my drift. Just then, Dr. Hubbard and an intern came cheerfully into the room. Susan announced,"My mommy just passed gas!"
It was too much. " I did not!" I defended myself. I know he didn't believe me.

The next week, I took Michael back to the doctor. "Where's Susan?," Dr. Hubbard asked with a knowing grin. I wasn't about to give him any more ammunition for his book. She was safe at home with Grandma Hertzler.

It was around the same time that I went to the dentist with Susan. We were standing at the door facing a waiting room full of people. I think I even had my hand in my purse when she declared to them all," My mommy's got a gun!" I looked guiltily about and weakly said,"I don't have a gun." I got the vague impression that several of them were thinking about becoming heroes. And the rest of those mortifying moments are hidden behind Memories Merciful Curtain.