Wonderful day at home-studying "sufficiency", face booking, exercising, nice long talk with Mother, catching up with Judy, tidying up. Took a walk to the river in the afternoon. I was trying to dodge all the deposits the dogs had left me on the trail and looking up, I saw a mother bear and her two cubs. I would have intercepted them at the corner of the field that goes down to the river. Unfortunately, our over protective dogs chased them off of our field, so I came back home to draw the dogs away. Next time, they need to stay here, so I can see how close I can get should they come near again.
1443 profile hits. Mixed feelings. Phil went to the eye doctor and was given some antibiotic drops and reassurance that his eye was healing on its own-all for a "mere" $100, but who can place a price on eyesight. The 'dent' I saw in his eye was actually a flap of skin that was sliced on the outer surface of the eye. It has healed back on. Susan and I took the guys Frosties today after school. That made them so happy. It was 93 degrees outside. My car's temp said 108. I could hardly touch the steering wheel. Susan and I are going to study/read outside for half an hour. 30 min. of sunshine after 3:00 with no sunscreen, gives a body much of the Vitamin D it needs. (It was too hot to do that.) Phil went to Farmville after supper to fix a somebody's roof. Philip went to be with some friends. Michael went to Richmond this morning where he began assistant manager training for Cutco. He will be trained every week from Mon.-Wed. eve. He is staying at the Abbey for $25 a day for room and board. He gets to eat their leftovers in the kitchen. I miss him already. Lump in my throat. Everything's changing. People I love are 'leaving' in one form or another. I am not good with that sort of thing. sob. Michael said there was a Vietnamese monk at the abbey who found him in the kitchen and Michael was having a hard time understanding him and vice versa and so he wrote, "I am Michael Hertzler-Phil Hertzler's son." And the man said, "Oh! Phil Hertzler! Here-eat! eat!" and he opened the refrigerator for Mike. Took another walk to the low grounds and headed toward my cottage. Heard an awful racket. I cautiously opened the door and a squirrel flew off the roof. I think he was playing soccer in the attic with walnuts! Did not see the bear and her cubs again. It was nice to not have the dogs panting interrupt the stillness. They couldn't believe that I made them stay home! Susan seems happy at school. I hear lots of little stories and they are good ones.
I am thankful that Phil's eye is almost blood shot free!
I am thankful for Philip's courage and hope. I am amazed at him.
I am thankful for Makenzie and her daily calls to Susan.
I am thankful for a great day at home and for the joyful outlook I have for tomorrow.
I am thankful, that this evening, when I was mourning 'loss' the hardest, the person I was mourning about called, and cheered me up.
Just a reminder to myself from something that happened a week or two ago. When pretending to sip from the cup of joy by inhaling deeply with lips pursed, do it inside, and not on the path to the river, because you might suck in a poor hapless gnat, and find that there is no other way to get rid of it except to swallow it down.
But I am still very thankful for the cup of joy.
The blessed thing is this:
He holds the cup of sorrow and He holds the cup of joy, so no matter what happens in life,
He is near me. The deeper the cup of sorrow, the deeper the cup of joy, and He makes all things right, because He is good.
Tues.-I woke up with one of this past Sunday's worship songs on my mind but can't remember it now. Went into school with Susan. Taught more on Handel and read from Isaiah-"The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light.." and then played that piece to the students. I wish it would give them the same thrill it gives me. I'll keep trying...(I have a very sore throat today.) A little boy told me that he got sent to the Principal's office yesterday. His humble mother is also his teacher that sent him. I asked him why. He whispered, "Because I hit somebody." He said he was too scared to go but then he went anyway and the 'school secretary' gave him a weird talk. I just love this boy. I wish I had an hour a day just to sit and listen to him because he has things to say that should be heard. Oh-decided to go to chapel today and the K teacher met me in the hallway with an unhappy child and I naively asked if there was something I could do for her and she said I could sit with her children in chapel. Well, that was an experience. My motherly instincts were kicking in and I wanted to hold them on my lap, ETC. All in all, I really enjoyed chapel and am glad anew that my daughter is getting to hear truths similar to what I heard this morning on a weekday basis.
I am thankful for the long face book chat I had with a friend/student I had way back before and after I was pregnant with Freeman and was subbing at the local Christian school.
I am thankful for the nice walk Phil and I took to the low grounds and although we didn't see any more bear, we saw geese and a buck.
I am thankful that Susan figured out how to fix her bangs. She got a haircut after school and was very upset with the outcome.
I am thankful that Philip and Christi enjoy doing simple things together, like fishing and watching the stars.
I am thankful that I got to talk with Michael on the phone tonight and that he will be home tomorrow night. I MISS him.
Wed.-"The people that walked in darkness...have seen a great light.." Handel's Messiah piece. Dropped off Susan at school and went out to get groceries. I always keep a cooler in the trunk. Had a fun time chatting with K and 2nd grade teacher. K teacher asks me, "So how much weight have you lost total?" (This generous question made up for yesterday's chapel.) They looked at me in disbelief when I told them I had lost 35 pounds and then regained 20. The problem is this. Well, there are several problems actually, but one of them is the fact that the only full length mirror we have in the house is in Susan's room and it is slanted against the wall and that angle of reflection creates a visual lie that I am only too happy to believe. So, it's the clothes getting too tight that sends the warning to my brain that something is amiss. The scales try to get my attention also.
Taught the younger children in music and it went better because we all were more adjusted to school. We had our first pep rally for the CCA Crushers-our running track team. They went to Buckingham for their first race. At one point, the runners raced around the inside track of the school hallways and burst through a banner that the students had made and ran right out the door into the vehicle that awaited them while everyone was screaming and cheering them on.
We never know how close we are to the end of the race of life and we can know, that when we are nearing the end and trying to stay in the race, that the shouts of encouragement from the sidelines will grow even louder. For we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses who want us to win and no matter whether we are at the beginning of our race or somewhere in between the start and the finish, the cloud is that crowd that has gone before us and is shouting, "Keep your eyes on the prize! Keep looking to Jesus! Run from sin! Walk in grace! Jump up when you fall! Don't look to the left or the right! Help the person next to you if they stumble!" and many other words that matter. Oh, that we would repeat the words we hear from those in the cloud to the others running the race beside us.
I am thankful for the deepening of friendships among the teachers at CCA.
It is good to work with people you like.
I am thankful for a chance to catch up with a friend in the eve. over a stale tortilla chip appetizer in the Goodwill strip mall.
I am thankful that my girl, Kelli, is doing so well in school.
Thurs.-"Largo" by Handel. Heard about Sebastian's remarks in chapel. Dr. H. was explaining that God is our Father and if we ask our earthly father for bread, he would not give us a stone, therefore, God ,who is our perfect Father, gives good gifts to those who ask, and Sebastian, 1st grade, piped up, "Like if I asked Mrs. Kn--- for a sandwich, she wouldn't give me a monkey!"
He's another one of those I would take home with me in a heartbeat. I've got three of them now and they are all little boys.
We painted watercolors on crumpled wet paper today, making a watercolor paper batik, and also dropped watercolor paints on paper and blew them around with a straw and made beautiful oriental looking pictures. I am going to mount them on creative memory card stock and cut out their names with the cricket machine and put that on their papers and laminate them and hang them up in the hallway. I also taught them how to draw a cake, cup, candle, hat, etc. using a foreshortened circle.
Came home to find a package from Grandpa Hertzler's which held our letters/emails we had written to Johnny over the years. We laughed and cried as we read stories about our life and reminders of our beloved Johnny. The boys had written to him as well and told him how Susan was growing and getting teeth, etc.
Began reading, "What's so Amazing About Grace?" by Philip Yancey. Another Goodwill find worth a million bucks. He writes honestly and easily, and with such purity in his words and communication, that all religiosity goes out the window. It is a quick deep read but you will want to ponder it slowly.
I am thankful that the little girl who had 'had enough' of art class last week couldn't 'get enough' of art class this week.
I am thankful that Michael was home this morning and volunteered to run out the extra set of keys since I locked them in my car this morning and I am thankful that he stayed until after chapel to see Susan since he missed her and she missed him so much and he wanted to hug her and say hi.
I am thankful that I can't remember any unkind words that Phil ever said to me because he's never said any to me. He is always encouraging and makes me think I am the best wife, mother, and friend he could possibly have.
Fri.-'Handel's Water Music'. Classical music operates like worship music in my spirit. It is so rich and full and beyond me so I reach for Him who is rich and full and beyond and beside and within me. Met a friend in Farmville this morning and we walked to Longwood Cafeteria for lunch. It costs us $6.25 for an all you can eat buffet and the food was great and it was neat to be around college students. I have to remind myself that I am not in my 20's and that I look like their mothers or maybe even their grandmothers! Talked with the Bantons and decided that we are going to go in another direction with the girls small group I am leading-rather than Cleansing Stream, which is expensive and takes much study time, etc., we are going to simplify things quite a bit and I feel relieved. Picked up Susan from school and went to Walmart and came home and made pizza and watched lots of Monk.
I am thankful for Phil.
I am thankful for the way I always feel God's presence at Longwood College.
I am thankful for the guy who is the writer for 'Monk.' He 'gets' grief.
Sat.-Susan and I so very tired. She aches all over from doing the 'Presidential Fitness' regimen at school. Did some wash, cooked a turkey and a chicken/rice dish, cleaned the house, prepared the guest room in the old house for Eldon, sat outside and worked on some Sunday school notes. Freeman came over and was hunting duck with Philip. I kept hearing them shoot and then wondered why I heard plinking sounds on the old house roof. Finally, I realized that it was the pellets from their guns, submitting to gravity, and coming down all around me. I was sitting in a chair between the old house and our house and so I was a likely candidate of getting shot. I snuck back into the house as quickly as possible. We watched 'Parent Trap.'
I am thankful that God is our Provider and He will provide a table in the wilderness.
I am thankful that Michael mowed our hayfield of a lawn and that I could enjoy sitting in the late afternoon sun without wondering about snakes.
I am thankful for the 22 turkeys the boys saw when they were hunting duck.
Sun.-"Pie Jesu" by Charlotte Church. Read her biography this week. Susan told me as soon as she woke up, that Miss Alice was with Jesus. She got a text around midnight last night. My initial response was overwhelming Joy for Alice. No more cancer! She is healed! And now she joins the great crowd of witnesses and dances around our church in a beautiful dress, urging us on to love Him who loves us. Just think what she is doing now! Just think who is wiping her tears and receiving her love! And then I thought of Dianna. And Charlie and Amanda and Chris and Missi and Sara and Becky and PR and all of the others who loved her so much. And I cried for them even as I rejoiced for her. Had a good Sunday School class. We shared about Alice and prayed and then talked about God's pursuit of man. Church was good. Pastor Frank talked with that constant sob in his voice that makes one not want to miss a word of what he says as he preached life even as he sorrowed death. His main point was this: We should use what is in our hands. Moses used the staff, David used the slingshot, the little boy used his lunch. God told Moses to throw down his staff and his staff turned into a snake. Moses backed away quickly. Pastor surmised that we are either using what is in our hand or we are running from it. I was also reminded that Moses spent 40 years in the desert, using his staff in the natural, until the fullness of time had come for him to use it in the supernatural. That staff went on to part waters and swallow up other snakes and deliver a nation. David was faithful tending sheep and played with the slingshot, practicing on lions and bears, and when the fullness of time came, he killed a giant with it. Sometimes, before we use our gifts, God will bring us to a wilderness, like He did Moses and Jesus, and there we are discipled and tested and there we learn anonymity. And in the fullness of time, God brings us to the burning bush and reveals Himself and sheds a different light on the thing that is in our hand and He says, "Now is the time to use it. Don't run from what I want to do with what is in your hand." No one else can use what is in your hand. And you can't use what is in someone else's hand. Be happy with what is in your hand. Moses did not pass his staff on to someone else. Joshua and Caleb did not use his staff to perform miracles. God used them in different ways to deliver His people. I just had this thought. Alice had cancer. It is what was 'in her hand.' And she used it to show us how to live. And to die. She used her weakness to show God's strength and kill giants. She used it to love her family and friends. If there is sorrow in your hand, use it. If there is trouble or loneliness or stress or debt in your hand, use it. Throw it down at His feet and He will turn it into a sign and a wonder to many.
Some other points from the sermon:
When someone is working under the anointing and call of God, the Spirit of the LORD goes before them, to prepare the way for God's Spirit to move when they come.
96% of evangelical Christians do not live in America.
God responds to the cry of His people.
Until you are sorry for your sins, you will likely repeat them even though you've confessed them.
Unless we are thinking globally, we will never 'get it' locally.
I am where I am by divine design to be an influence for God.
Our church's vision statement-
Saved and filled to the level of influence; Called to be messengers to the world; Reaching out through any means that none should perish.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am making cinnamon rolls for a special someone today. Phil is resting. Michael, Philip, and Chace and maybe some of the other boys are over at the neighbor's fishing. (Phil and I drove the gator over to check out the yelling.) Susan is with Kelli S., spending the night, Alli is studying up a storm. We watched a bit of 'The Sound of Music.' Eldon Stoltz~~~ is coming tonight to work on the neighbor's property tomorrow.
I am thankful for Adi and for her communication skills. She went through every kind of mint and gum in my church purse and knew to spit the horrible ones into a tissue.
I am thankful for the gifts represented in the church and the spirit of giving that was prevalent when people signed up to help the community during our Farmville First project coming up.
I am thankful for the beautiful weather.
Although I am sad that mother needs to go on more oxygen, I am thankful that there is more oxygen for her to go on.
I am thankful for Alice and for her wonderful hugs.
I am thankful that I never heard a bad word spoken about her or by her.
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