I've been seeing a sports muscle therapist and he's helping me with the muscles on my ankle, rotator cuff, and neck. He's really helped me with decreasing the vertigo I've experienced for over 13 years. He said that when the muscles in my neck move in a certain way, they remember the injury that caused the beginnings of the vertigo, and that's why I start spinning. 'Muscle Memory' it's called. He said that all I need to do is make a slight adjustment in how I am holding my head and it will move my muscles away from the memory of vertigo and will retrain them. I used to have to make a large cumbersome move to tilt my whole body to the left side when the vertigo hit. Now I just make a slight adjustment to the left with my head and I stop spinning almost instantly. To me, it's a miracle. And I am so thankful.
Sometimes, I get emotional vertigo. I start thinking about some difficult things and I suddenly find myself in a self-spiraling negative descent until I am a sobbing psychotic mess. But, the other day, when I was by myself, and the 'vertigo' out of control thoughts started spinning me downward into their dark abyss, I thought of Dennis's words, "Make a slight adjustment." And so I looked outside the car windows and said, "Thank you for the color green." My emotional vertigo came to a screeching halt. I began climbing upward. "Thank you that you are showing me your goodness in the land of the living. Thank you that if you trusted us with these sorrows, that You trusted Yourself even more. You knew You would bring us through." And so on. It was an almost pleasant hike upward and not nearly as strenuous as you would think.
My world changed from dark to light within seconds, all because I made that slight adjustment with the words, "Thank you for the color green."
There are, after all, so many shades of green to be thankful for.
1 comment:
thanks for teaching me to look out of the window. The other night, when we were sleeping in a different place, my A woke up in a panic and tears. I remembered about how you told me to take them to the window when that happens. She quickly calmed down and fell back asleep in my arms.
Post a Comment