I am here with Abby, Serena, and Micah.
Abby is 13, Serena is 11, and Micah is 9.
Last night, we watched The Road to El Dorado, Yogi Bear, and Surf's Up.
We ate pizza, popcorn, ice cream, and drank grape Fanta soda.
They slept on a big homemade bed on the floor.
Abby slept on the sofa.
For breakfast, we had pancakes and vanilla ice cream and watched
The Lorax and Princess Diaries.
Now it's time for Stories and Jokes!
Abby:
What is white, black, and blue all over?
A frozen penguin.
There are three blondes walking on a beach.
Suddenly a genie appears,
and granted them each one wish.
The first one said,
"I hate being dumb.
I want to be 50% smarter."
So she turned into a strawberry blonde.
The next one said,
"I hate being dumb.
I want to be 100% smarter."
And she turned into a brunette.
The last one said,
"I LOVE being dumb.
I want to be 100% dumber."
And she turned into a man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(At this punch line,
I gasped, and she said,
"If you don't like it,
I can tell you another one."
Abby has great respect for the men in her life-
just so you know.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Serena's jokes:
How many blondes does it take to shoot a gun?
Three.
One to hold it.
One to pull the trigger.
And one to make sure the bullet is coming out the other end.
(Another gasp from Auntie Annette.)
There was this blonde and she went to the store
and she asked the store clerk,
"How much is that TV over there?"
And he said,
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
So she went home and dyed her hair brown.
And she came the next day and asked the store clerk,
"How much is that TV over there?"
To which he replied,
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
So she went home and dyed her hair red.
And came back the next day.
"How much is that TV over there?"
she asked.
And again he said,
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
So she went back to her house and dyed her hair
green with purple and pink high lights,
and went back to the store.
And she asked,
"How much is that TV over there?"
And the store clerk said,
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
And then she gasped,
"How did you know I was a blonde?"
He leaned over the counter
and said,
"My dear lady, it's not a TV.
It's a microwave."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were three guys who escaped from jail.
One was a red head, one was a brunette, and one was a blonde.
A genie came from no where and said,
"Whatever you want to land in when you jump off a cliff,
I will grant you."
The red head said,
"What's better than money?
I'll just land in money."
So he ran and jumped off the cliff and landed in money.
The brunette said,
"I want to land in something soft like mattresses and pillows."
So he jumped off the cliff and landed on mattresses and pillows.
And the blonde said to himself,
"As I'm thinking,
I'll just get a running head start."
So he was running as fast as he could
and tripped on a rock and said,
"Oh, poop!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Micah's stories-last but not least.
There were these three guys.
One was named 'Shut up',
one was named 'Stupid'
and one was named 'Poop.'
And they went on a camping trip.
Poop was riding on top of their jeep and fell off
so they stopped and Stupid went to help him.
A police officer showed up and went to talk to the driver, Shut Up.
"What is your name?" he asked the driver.
"Shut Up," Shut Up said.
"What is your name?!" he asked again.
"SHUT UP!"
"Tell me. What is your name!!!"
"SHUT UP!"
"Fine. So what's happening here."
"Oh don't worry. Stupid's just picking up Poop."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Abby has another one.
How do you kill a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker in the bottom of a pool.
(Another gasp from AA.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think it's time to go outside and play a yard game or two.
Farewell until next time.
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