After recess, on Tuesday, the 19th of January, the first grade children came into the music room and began playing hide-and-seek under my desk and behind the piano. We seemed to have a rough start because I was on the Wed. schedule in my head and thought they would be coming in an hour. There was a rapid knock on my door and one of the teachers motioned for me to come out. "We have a situation, " she said. "There is a gunman on the loose and he's already killed at least one person. Our school is in lock-down." I was not to let the children know and my room was considered 'safe' since there were no outside windows on the walls.
So many thoughts went through my head. Michael. Susan. Good that Mrs. Jones is home. How would I protect the children if he got inside our school. Act normal. Protect the children from the knowledge of evil and the death of trust. Don't let anything happen. God, help us.
Sick to my stomach, I went back into my room. I told Christen, my 16 year old homeschool helper, to call her mother and tell her not to pick her up until she was notified. Christen then read to the children while I went out of the room and hid in the changing room. I called Phil. He called the monks together and they prayed. I called church. Missi went into the staff meeting and they dropped everything and prayed. I went back into my room, locking the door behind me. Meanwhile, Christen heard the police helicopter and gunshots and the helicopter landed near our school. We sang happy songs, danced and colored to Civil War songs, and made the familiar airplanes from their drawings. One dear little boy needed to use the bathroom. I wouldn't let him go. I told him that if it gets really bad, he could go in a jar. He looked at me horrified. "What if the other kids see me?" I told him that I would hide him. A few minutes later, I found out that the police had the man cornered and that it was safe to go out in the hallway for a quick trip to the bathroom.
When the older children came in during the last period of the day, it was a relief. They knew about the situation and we could talk about it. We kept the door open and sang with all our hearts, "A Wonderful Savior is Jesus my Lord....He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock...that shadows a dry thirsty land..." I read more about Harriet Tubman's life and Michael acted out what I was reading. It was a very sobering story but Michael was making us laugh. We were able to dismiss school at regular time. A police car was parked at each entrance and at both roads that came into school. We felt 'safe'.
Everybody was praying. We prayed for God's comfort. We prayed that no more lives would be lost. We prayed that the man would give himself up without incident. And he did. The next morning, at 7:10, he gave himself up near the crime scene. The murdered victims included 3 high school students, a 4 year old, and two couples. I will write a post note to this blog when I understand the relationships between the gunman and his victim. I understand that one woman was his sister. It's too much. The house where he lived had to be invaded by the bomb squad. Residents were warned not to be afraid if they heard loud noises going off. He had the place wired. So much heartache for so many people. Why, God, why?
I read something this morning in 'Streams in the Desert' from 'Bent-knee Time.
"Emergencies call for intense prayer. When the man becomes the prayer nothing can resist its touch. Elijah on Carmel, bowed down on the ground, with his face between his knees, that was prayer-the man himself. No words are mentioned. Prayer can be too tense for words. The man's whole being was in touch with God, and was set with God against the powers of evil. They couldn't withstand such praying..."
I thought about how Dr. Hubler, our principal, walked through the halls at school, making sure his family, the teachers, and the students were safe. He was on red alert, yet his presence had a calming effect. The man had become the prayer even if words would have failed him. I thought about my son, Michael, proactive in his behavior as he considered a defense. He said, 'No weapon formed against me shall prosper.' He, too, was calm, and carried the peace of God. He, too, was a prayer. I thought of my daughter, Susan, who put a sharp piece of wire and a pencil in her pocket. I am glad that she acted like a warrior instead of a victim. I thought of the heart poundings and the raised blood pressures of all of the women in the school. God help the man who would try to hurt any of these children. Teachers became mothers to every child in an instant.
And just now, in the midst of writing this account, I received a phone call. Friends of ours had been visiting us this weekend and had spoken about their work in Kenya during our school's chapel time on Monday morning. They drove back to Pa. soon afterwards. That night, Terry stayed awake, travailing in prayer until 4:00 Tuesday morning, praying for the safety of Michael and Susan. She had been warned by God that Phil would be worried for the safety of his children by noon on Tuesday. (The 911 call came in at 12:02.) Her husband came home from work and said that God had shown him that an evil man was coming and to pray for our children, but was assured that they would be kept safe. Later, I called to tell them what had happened. They weren't going to tell me what had happened on their end, but today, Thursday, it came out of her mouth, with weeping and brokenness. They continue to be heart broken for all of the suffering caused by this tragedy. They continue to pray.
I had sensed that we were all protected even more than we realized and when I heard of the intensity of the burden that God gave our friends, I am even more sure that God intervened on our behalf. Thank you, thank you God.
Surely, He has carried our griefs and our sorrows.
Surely, our iniquities were laid upon Him.
Surely, He weeps with us.
Surely, He prays.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Post note:
He did kill his sister, her daughter, her husband, and their four year old son,
along with 2 other teenagers and the parents of one of the teens.
This is what I understand at this time.
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