Monday, April 12, 2010

I Hope they never Know

My mother told me that someone asked my sister
how she was. It had been 7 months since her 23 year
old son was killed in a car accident,
and it was Christmas.
My sister said,"It's hard."
Her acquaintance said with some disbelief,
"Still?!"

Sometimes,
I just want to smack people.

I told this story to a friend who had lost a son
in a car accident as well.

She said that she had come to the realization that
people only understand if they've gone through it.
"Thank God they don't understand.
I hope they never do."

I keep thinking about her words.

Smacking people never helps anybody much.

But giving them understanding
and a prayer just might.


4 comments:

Janet Oberholtzer said...

Hi Annette,
Excellent post! It reads like many of the Psalms do.

Being real and honest about your reaction ... (btw, I'd have wanted to smack them too!)
Then being open to learning from another person, trying to understand and then praying for the person that you wanted to smack.

You're a wise woman!

Annie said...

thank you Janet. so proud of your race. 'She shall run and not grow weary...'

Jeanne said...

Great post. Some people do need a smack upside the head. Early May will mark 21 years since my mother died and 9 years since John's mom died. We looked at each other and asked, "Is this time of year still hard for you?" And we both said "Yes!" The pain fades but never goes away. I can't imagine losing a child.

Annie said...

I am not sure if we are ever meant to 'get over' this kind of loss. I think we would have to deny the pain to get over it. But life is a mixture of sorrow and joy. We hold pain in one hand and joy in the other and we worship God out of the depths...Thank you Jeanne, for your comment, and I am so sorry for your loss.