Abigail's Jokes

Told to Aunt Annette

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry Who?
Dude! It's Berry cold outside.
Can't you let me in?
(Made up right now)

What did the hunter say when
he missed the buck?
Oh, dear!

What is short, skinny, and eleven years old?
me-Abby

What is big and furry?
A bear of course.

One day there were three pigs who went to a restaurant.
The waiter at the door told them to sit at their seats.
And they waited awhile. Then another waiter came.
And he asked the first little pig, "Hello, sir, what would you like to drink?"
I would like some Pepsi, please.
To the second pig he said, "And you sir?"
I would like some Coke.
And the third pig said,
I would like water. Lots and lots of water.
OK said the waiter and left.
Then he came back and brought their drinks.
What would you like to eat for lunch?
I would like some french fries said the first little pig.
The second little pig said I would like some meatloaf.
And the third pig said, I would like some water.
Lots and lots of water.
And then the waiter came back and gave them their lunch.
After they were done eating, he came back.
What would you like for dessert, he asked.
The first pig said I would like a brownie.
The second pig said I would like a big brown cake
with lots of icing.
And the third pig said, I want water.
Lots and lots of water.
And so the waiter was puzzled by this.
And he said, Sir, why do you keep on getting water
instead of all these good foods?
And the little pig replied,
Well, it's pretty simple sir.
One of us has to go wee, wee, wee
all the way home.
(Not made up by Abby)

Do you want to hear a corny joke?
An Alien fell in a corn field.

Do you want to hear a lame joke?
He broke his leg.

Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
He fell in mud.

Do you want to hear a clean joke?
He washed it off.

Do you want to hear another dirty joke?
It was not mud. It was cow poop.
(Abby said, "I think Meredith made that joke up.)

What do you say to a cow when he's grumpy?
Don't have a cow!