Mon.-Still popping pain pills for toothache. Went to Dr. Harvey's after dropping Susan off. X-rays do not show any abscess but possible sinus trouble. Put me on an antibiotic. If it doesn't get better, the tooth may be cracked,etc. and then I'd have to get a root canal.
Michael helped me make a big pot of vegetable soup before leaving for Richmond for a few days. I did wash and slept. I finished reading 'Cry, the Beloved Country' and couldn't stop crying. I love the way Alan Paton writes. He understands suffering, forgiveness, redemption, and South Africa. I thought about Johnny and Mr. Som Paun-the drunk man who killed him. I thought about how I don't pray for him anymore. I thought about God and Jesus and how God does things for us in His Son's name just as Mr. Jarvis did things in his son's name for the community where his son's murderer's father was a parson. Mr. Paton loves Africa. I've always loved Africa, too, for some reason. Our African missionary friends would bring my parents gifts from Africa. I remember wooden antelope gracing our mantel and other carvings made from mahogany and a big wooden salad bowl filled with fresh greens on our table. I remember their gifts, but most of all, I remember their children, who became my friends, and I remember the stories they told. /// I am thankful for a relaxing day and the lessening of facial pain. There seems to be something going around that affects the face,teeth, and vision and puts alot of pressure on the head. I've heard of two other personal cases and then a friend who works in an institution said that it is going around. I am thankful for the fun Christi, Philip, and Susan had this eve. playing Farkel around our kitchen table. They were singing country songs and sometimes Philip told them to stop singing certain ones. Christi won and she was pleased because she said she never wins at these games. I am thankful that we have a Just God and He wants us to cry out for justice for His people. I am thankful that a dear little old lady we know is about to walk through Heaven's gates. Alleluia! Life-Tears and Laughter. For her soon, she will know only laughter. But she's had her share of tears.
Tues.-Tooth feeling better, thank the Lord! Good day teaching music. I hurt my voice in last period when I demonstrated my Aborigines yell to the older kids. I closed the chapel doors and let it rip but I didn't do it right because I wasn't inspired and now I can hardly talk. It just hurts and it wasn't worth it because I don't think I impressed them one bit. I wanted them to give a good yell during the Battle of New Orleans song. Oh well. I told them to give a yell that intimidates and I asked them what that means. One of the middle graders said that it means to offend and create fear and I thought that was a great definition of intimidation. I also taught more on Bach and worked on some of his piano pieces when I had time. I didn't think I liked him but I really do. The more I read about his life, the more I enjoy his music. Marcie came out of her office and joined 5/6 graders in singing some of the good old fun songs. That was nice. Doreen told me that Dr. H. talked about the unjust judge and the persistent widow in chapel and she was excited because that is what Pastor Frank preached on yesterday. She said something like, "I love when I hear the same theme several times. I know God is saying something. " Susan and I went to the dry cleaners after school and the lady started writing me up as Mrs. Jones. She couldn't believe I wasn't her but I told her we work together and other people think we look alike also. Then we went to pick up Adi's gift at Millies and she gave me the latest weather report. She said that she heard that it was supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow night. Susan made a salad when we came home and she studied while I did some writing. I need to go to sleep early. I am thankful that some of the second graders told me what they want to be when they grow up. Brianna wants to be a teacher and Kalie wants to be an Art Teacher and I think they both have the tendency towards becoming what they want to be already. ///I am thankful that when a high school boy realized he had brought chunks of mud in my room he asked for a broom and swept it up. I am thankful for the wild windy day and that it might be like that when it is dark outside and I love wild windy darkness. I am thankful that I am not in very much pain from my tooth today.
Wed.-Had fun with music today. Taught more about Bach and played his Minuet for them on the piano. Second graders wanted to dance to it. Felt sick in my stomach most of the day. Kids are dropping like flies with this fever/sore throat/stomach bug. Don't you love when a youngster comes cuddling up to you and says, 'My mommy thinks I have strep throat.' "Great," I said. I hope they don't go home and tell their mama that I was glad they have strep. They may have been too young to understand my sarcasm especially since I don't deal it out very often. Too late now. Headed out to church. VDOT has sprayed the roads. There is a possibility of snow./// I am thankful for people who believe the best about that which concerns me most. I am thankful for the way the teacher's at school take care of their own children as well as others. I am thankful for the nice time I had with Missi tonight.
Thurs.-Practiced a few recitatio songs after chapel today. Went out to Cut-Ups and got my hair trimmed. Worked on penguin pictures and flour/water batiking in art. Two second grade girls made a huge picture of the cross of Jesus with a cross on either side. "I love Jesus," I said as I looked at it."I love Him, too," said the little girls with deep feeling. The teachers had lunch together and they enjoyed the ice cream cupcakes that I brought. Check out the JustJournaling listed on my side bar. You'll find the recipe. After cleaning up the art room, Susan and I joined the Loys at Baines for Earl Grey tea, a blueberry scone, book browsing, and sharing our lives. Susan and Graham got some ice cream and later they walked around outside for a little while. We were there for at least an hour and a half and we plan on keeping this tradition next year as well. Came home and made toasted cheese sandwiches for supper and did some wash. Phil won't get home from Richmond until late. ///I am thankful that Cynthia found a band to back up our song, "Battle of New Orleans.' I am thankful for Doreen and Graham and our friendship with them. I am thankful for the pretty dusting of snow this morning. I am thankful for how excited the 2nd graders got when they looked at material and construction paper through my very good microscope that I brought from home especially for this particularly curious group of children.
Fri.-Went to Lynchburg with Alli and Susan. We left home around 9:30 and got back home around 5:30. We went Goodwill shopping where Susan found lots of jeans and I found lots of books. Also went to the mall and picked up a few things. Then to Hibachi Grill where we picked up a few pounds. Then to Ross's and Sam's Club. It was a great day. Came home and made some Sam's Club Pizza and watched half of Fiddler on the Roof with everyone at home. ///I am thankful for a night at home together as a family. I am thankful for Alli's kind ways with Susan. I am thankful for Freeman's kisses on my forehead. I am thankful for the painful things that help us loosen our hold on outside relationships that aren't forever and bring us home to the relationships that are.
Sat.-Phil and Susan left for Pa early this morning. Phil is going to Andy Stoltzfus's birthday party at 10 in Morgantown. Susan sent us a picture of her holding David on face book. He looked like he was adoring her. He's beautiful. She'll get to see Jonathan tonight at the family gathering. Jonathan and David. How appropriate. Two little Hertzler babies born 2 days apart. If I don't get to hold them soon, I'll burst. Went to Adi's third birthday party. The castle I gave her was a big hit. Too big. It caused some conflict and Judy and I rescued it and put it back on Gil and Lindsay's bed. Lindsay had made ladybug cupcakes and ladybug rice krispie candies and there was lady bug chocolate and also yogurt covered raisins and veggies and dip and pink marsh mellows, m&m's, and Wheat Thin pretzel sticks, and sweet tea, and coffee. The girls were making ladybug wings to wear on their backs when I got there. During snack time I sat on the floor and got silly with the girls. As long as I was holding an M&M, I spoke 'm' words and when I ran out of 'm' words I put an 'm' in front of other words like MJack and Memma and MSammy Jo, etc. Madison or is it Mackenzie, kept giving me M&M's. It was really fun actually. Judy said, "Free entertainment" and I said, "No, she's paying me." Sammy Jo told me she loved me before I left and for some reason it made me sob and Judy lost it too then. We had our own little 'party' outside while we were saying good-bye. There is so much I want for Sammy Jo and I am so glad that her grandma is Judy Blue-eyes because then she will get what I want for her. Left the party and went to Goodwill and Belks. Came home and the boys showed me the new additions on the farm. Moonshine and Dragon-two little pigs. Michael's little piggy is named Dragon and he has red hair the same shade as Michael's. Moonshine has black hair. The boys showed me movies they had made of the pigs arrival on the farm. When they picked them up to carry them over to their pen, they screamed as if they were being murdered. Jordan came over and hung out for the rest of the day. Yesterday was Janelle's 40th birthday and four of her friends came down for the weekend. (Janice, Faith, Naomi, and Mim.) I went over with a big bowl of popcorn in the eve. and watched 'Copying Beethoven' with them.'It was a wonderful movie and much of the story was accurate. I kept giving them little tidbits of information about Beethoven and they said they felt they had a tour guide with them through the movie in a good sort of way. They had fun at the river in the afternoon and showed me pictures of Micah in his swimsuit getting wet in the river. They were all bundled up in winter coats and he had just his swimsuit on. He was determined to catch a big fish.///I am thankful for more than enough and for the wisdom, humility, and discernment to know what to do with it. (I am saying that in faith.) I am thankful for the 'pearl' earrings with little diamonds that I found for Janelle's birthday. There is a story about Johnny and pearl earrings and she'll understand why I gave them to her without my explanation. I am thankful for Janelle's dear friends who came down to spend her 40th birthday with her, doing her favorite things-hiking on the trail, sitting by the river, enjoying Micah, dinner and a movie.
Sun.-Church. Lazy afternoon reading an Agathe C. novel and eating junk food and taking a nap. The weather is windy and warm with just a bite of chill in the shade. Phil and Susan got home shortly after 5. Mother sent homemade caps she knitted for us. Brown for me, green for Phil, and light blue for Susan. Mom sent beautiful cut out hearts strung together with ribbon with the words love, joy, peace, patience,. etc written on them. She also sent more sweet potatoes from her garden. Andy and Lucille sent two pies-shoofly and cherry. Philip and Christi went out to eat at Ruby Tuesdays for their Valentine's meal. Michael was with Jordan and Travis. Phil and I dropped Susan off with Kelli S. and went on to the meeting at church. I am thankful for that great meeting we had and the prayers, and sharing, and answers that were given. I am thankful that Phil and Susan had safe travels. I am thankful for the stories about her life that my mother shared with Phil and Susan.
Church Service. Enjoyed the beautiful homemade prophetic song that soared from God's heart through PAlvin's voice. Pastor Rob preached. He started with a drama. He portrayed two groups of people; the self-righteous religious people of Jesus' day and the common folk. The Pharisee, speaking of Jesus, said, "Who does He think He is...How dare He...?" The common person asked,"Who is this man? Look at the things He does and the way He does them...." And who do we think Jesus is in our lives? Do we really believe that He cares about every circumstance we face and that He loves us and wants to know us and wants us to know Him? Who we think Jesus is will determine how we live.
I had a little helper(Adi) who was drawing pictures in my notebook so I have a few lines written every few pages and I am not sure how good I will do at pulling this sermon back together. But I'll try. (She had slept in Philip's arms most of worship and he was in heaven.)
Remember when Jesus turned over the money changer tables in the temple? People had gotten accustomed to something being in the temple that shouldn't be in the temple. He had to upset some things. He upset things in the natural and He upset things in the spirit realm and thought realm. People who listened to Him had to look at things differently or reject Him.
The parable of the ten virgins is prophetic. This will happen. The five foolish virgins had enough oil in their lamps to carry a flame. They thought they had enough. How many of us think we have enough? Make sure you have enough to keep your lamp burning and enough to refill your lamp with oil. The five foolish virgins were willing to drain the supply of the five wise virgins and the five wise virgins were wise enough not to let them do it. Some people think they have the right to suck you dry. Christ is the source of our oil and we should partake of Him to receive more oil.///
Story of the talents. They were given 5-2-1 talents. He didn't tell them to earn more. He just gave it to them. Immediately they invested their money or buried their money. What they did with their talent depended on who they thought Jesus was. It is human nature to bury our talent and be proud that we didn't lose it.///
Parable of sheep and goats-Professional belief without love and care for others is useless. The righteous and the unrighteous were both surprised at what was said to them. The righteous were not trying to earn their way. "When did we see you...?" they asked Jesus. It's all about recognizing Jesus.
How can we love God whom we cannot see if we don't love our brother whom we can see? How we interact with our spouses is how we interact with Jesus. Treat your spouse as if they were Jesus. Be good and kind to them without expecting anything in return.
So what?
God has works prepared for us ahead of time. What's on my legal pad? (The works are already prepared-just like a game is prepared in a box. I just have to read the instructions and follow them. I don't have to create the game or the rules. They are already prepared.) He has given us the talents to do the works that He has prepared and it is God in us who both wills and works in us to accomplish His purposes. Use and invest your talents. Do the works that He has prepared. Keep your lamps filled. Do things for others the way you would do them for Jesus. It's not about the robe. It's not about the appearance of righteousness. And just like the vineyard workers, if we refuse to go to work, He will find others who are willing to do the work. And if you are invited to the wedding feast but refuse to come, He will invite others to sit at your place at the table. These parables and warnings are recorded in the later part of Matthew. Jesus had specific truths He wanted to get across to unbelievers and believers alike. His teaching was quite intense. His time was short.
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I had some thoughts that I wrote down on the way home from church. I pulled off to the side of the back roads to write them down. They are my thoughts; I am not certain that they are God's. They are meant to comfort and give a different perspective to those who may be concerned by the difference in the levels of enthusiasm and expectancy the week after the fast compared to the enthusiasm and the expectancy levels as the weeks go by. They hold no rebuke. I am just sorting out my thoughts and some of them may be from God.
1-It is important to realize that it was after Christ's 40 day fast that the temptations came. I think people are dealing with alot of heavy things right now and they will get discouraged if they think everything should be all honky-dory because they are looking for fasting's good rewards right away. People might not have the appearance of 'expectancy' because they are trying to keep from drowning. They need life lines and spiritual 'protein' to sustain them and give them hope.
2-People have been asking God to consume them with His fire and He has most likely answered their prayers. A consuming fire is just that. It is all consuming. It is overwhelming. It takes all of one's focus. There is alot of mess after a fire. Some people are busy doing some backpedaling on the 'consume me with fire' prayer. "I didn't know it would 'feel' like this! It's hot! It's uncomfortable!" Some of us want the peaceable fruits of righteousness without going through the fire. Others are cleaning up after the fire. They are devastated by what the fire has exposed or destroyed. They are worn out. They are not going to be jumping up and down with enthusiastic worshipful expectancy. They have seen God answer their prayers and they may not be so sure if they want more consuming fire. Wash their ashes off with the sustaining water of the Word. Remind them that beauty will come from ashes. Give words of comfort and strength and hope. "In due season you will reap if you faint not."
3-Wherever God is at work, Satan will be at work too. If there is God's fire, there will be Satan's fire as well. The tendency will be to stifle all fires so we don't have to deal with rogue fire. The true fire of God will gather people together. People know God's fire has the potential to purify and they know it's ability to warm. There will be love and fellowship around the fire of God. There will be "hot dogs and s'mores." Rogue fires are scattered and lonely. God's fire is dangerous in a purifying sort of way. It is dangerous to one's ego and pride. But the fruit of the loss of pride is true fellowship. The fruit of rogue fire is fear and distancing and uneasiness. People are working at discerning God's fire and rogue fire. This isn't a comfortable process. Bear with the process. Give it time. But don't let the rogue fires burn wild. And keep the God fire burning. Add good wood to keep a steady flame of fellowship burning.
4-Back to the story of the unjust judge and the widow- God will answer our persistent prayers. But after He shows up and does miracles and gives us much to be thankful for, will He find us faithful? What makes a people faithful? When He returns, will He find faith on the earth?
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I write the above because there was so much enthusiasm after the fast and our worship was full of expectancy.(Expecting God to do great things.) There may be the tendency to think that people have lost their expectancy if they are not worshiping God with demonstrative enthusiasm. And that could be. But I think that we are in a different season of the harvest of the fast. I think we shouldn't look at the outward appearance. God is working in our hearts and there are many sober situations in our body. We must continue to seek God and pray for each other. It is a time when steadfastness is needed. No one is immune from refining fire. How do we help others when we are overwhelmed with the work God is doing in our own life? Having one's flesh dealt with is not a pretty sight. No one will have time to point a finger at another. We will all be on our faces. We must all be on guard against temptations, disunity, defending ourselves and judging others harshly. And we must love each other. For love covers a multitude of sins. And whatever grievances we have against each other, we must forgive.///
Jesus help us love you more. Jesus help us know You more. Open up Your Word to us and change us into Your likeness. May we be one even as you and Your Father are one. Come and make Your home in us. Amen.
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