Tues.-Stayed home today. Face and mouth hurts. Want to sleep. Did some wash. Hemmed baby blankets for new nephews. Exercised! Read. Did more paperwork. Cleaned off desk. Michael made goose for supper. He wrapped turkey bacon around the pieces of goose and put mushroom soup over all and cooked it in the crock pot and Susan made Red Lobster garlic cheese biscuits to go with it for supper. Got a nice note from Mom in the mail. Michael showed Cutco to my friend, Diane H., on line at Jordan's house. Went to bed before 7:30. I am thankful that He will never leave me or forsake me even though I leave Him sometimes when I choose bitterness or fear or my flesh over staying close to Him. I am thankful that when I doubt He says, "Put your hand in my side and believe." I am thankful that when I am not sure of my calling and go back to doing what I know to do, He feeds me anyway, and calls me His own. I am thankful that His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. I am thankful that I always wish I had trusted Him more and that I am never sorry that I trusted Him as much as I did. I am thankful that He answers prayer and that He knows my end from my beginning so sometimes He doesn't answer my prayers my way because He knows better. I am thankful that He made the first woman from the first Adam's side and from the second Adam's side, where blood and water flowed, He brought forth His bride, the church. Holy, Holy, Holy is His name.
Wed.-'I've found a Friend, Oh such a Friend, He loved me 'ere I knew Him...' Judy came to school today and checked most of the children's eyes and some of the teachers. Susan had 20/15 vision which is better than good. I'm so thankful. I took Judy to The Babcock House as a thank you from the school. We visited some of the shops and found some pretty dresses at Millie's consignment shop for Sammy Jo, Emma, and Adi. After she left, I went back to school and worked on tomorrow's art lesson. I am still in so much pain and not feeling right in my head enough to teach. Came home after school and slept until it was time to take Susan to church. I met Lindsay there and we sat in the sanctuary and talked and I felt like she woke up my brain. Susan put a pic of herself on fb and Michael commented from Richmond,"You're too pretty." She liked that. Mrs. Roth passed away this morning. Her husband, Larry, was showing their wedding photos Sunday night. Phil said that Mr. Roth was singing a swan song. It is what you say before you die. Swans sing a song as they are dying. Mr. Roth was singing the swan song for his wife. "Look at my bride...look at how lovely she was...she was a dancer..." What a beautiful song he was singing. I am thankful for that song and that I got to hear it. I am thankful for the children who will see better in a few weeks because their parents will get them to the eye doctor. I am thankful that when Lindsay talks, she awakens my brain.
Thurs.-Didn't sleep much, having my brain finally awakened and needing to catch up on thinking. Finally got out of bed after 4 and wrote to our parents and Naomi. I opened up the Banton newsletter today and seeing it in writing makes it more real. They really are going to leave us. I am hoping that with these frequent visits I have into grief, that I won't completely fall apart when it's time to say good-bye. It's a silly hope, really. Went to school to set up for art and then out for another hair cut and then to Baine's for a 2 hour visit with DDF. I am so thankful for the way she centers me and brings my focus back to God. In art class, the K/1 boys painted their batiks and finished painting and naming their penguins. 2nd graders scraped the flour/water design off their batiks and painted their waterfalls for next weeks art project. ///I am thankful for a night at home to watch the rain and hear it dripping on the porch. I am thankful for my dear darling husband and that my favorite people belong to our family. I am thankful for God's faithfulness to me.
Fri.-Rough night. Couldn't get the edge off the pain. Sick in my stomach from all the pain meds. It seems I have several teeth in trouble. Took Susan to school and ran off her mission trip letters. Went out to Lindsays and I drove her and the girls to the dentist. He thinks the pain I am experiencing is somewhat normal but thinks sinus issues are complicating it. He put me on an antibiotic and gave me some 800 mg IBprofen which should help bring down the swelling. We went to Whole Foods and Trader Joes and a few other shops. After I brought them home, I went to CVS and Freeman pulled up beside me in the parking lot. It was nice to see him and Alli on their excursion into town. Went to Walmart and shopped for Janelle and us. Micah is sick with a fever and she hasn't had a chance to get out. He smiled so sweetly when I brought the groceries in. His face was flushed and he was hot. Dear little darling. Philip had called to check on me while I was out and said that he bought pizza for supper and that I didn't need to worry about what to make when I got home. Susan cleaned up the kitchen and I got some wash started and swept the floor and checked facebook and blogged. Susan is doing her homework. Phil ran out to Pamplin. Christi and Philip went to scope out an auction that will take place tomorrow. Michael is in Richmond. Philip is exhausted because he can't sleep without Michael being 4 feet away from him. ///I am thankful that the plastic flower arrangements broke free from their gravestones and were dancing in the Farmville streets today due to high winds. I am thankful for all of the kind people at the dentist office. I am thankful for the flip flops, shorts, and hoodies I saw in town today. It's 70 degrees and windy. Tree branches are scattered here and there. I am thankful that Ernie snuck up on me at Walmart and scared me a bit and that Sara got out of her check out line to come talk to me. It's Ernies birthday. I am thankful for their cart that had beautiful bulbs in it and the future and a hope they foretell. I am thankful for the 'Alice Garden' Sara is going to create in memory of her friend. I am thankful that I also saw Mr. Roth tonight at Walmart and I got to talk to him and he kissed me and held my hand and I thought that he seemed good. Dear sweet man.
Sat.-Fell asleep quickly on that 800 mgs of Advil but woke with pain 4 hours later. Took 2 hours to get it under control with more meds. I can taste the chemicals in my mouth. Hate to think of what this is doing to my liver. This deep pain calls out for deep remedies and I've been playing the old hymns. When I can't use my voice, the piano sings for me. I love the deep and ageless words of these classic songs. The writers knew God and every word is a bottom line word and that is my cry these days. What will reach my pain? What is the bottom line? Don't waste my time with alot of extras. I am in too much pain to tolerate it. I wonder if this is what people are crying all around me? Today Mrs. Roth was buried. I went to her funeral with Susan and Michael. We had to leave after an hour because Michael had an appt. Funerals are always hard for me as I imagine they are for most people. I loved what Pastor Rob said about her being 'Sister Roth.' I love how Pastor Betty read comforting scriptures. Michael loved that too. And I loved what the one grandson shared and the way in which he shared it. Their two daughters sang with all their hearts and joined their mother 'round the throne. Lynney and Jay sang 'How Great Thou Art' and Michael said that that song always makes him cry. My favorite song that the worship team sang was 'In Christ Alone'. It was sung at Johnny's funeral too and the bitter sweetness makes the song all the more meaningful to me. I also appreciated the comforting words that Pat shared about how the suffering in our body causes us to lose our hold on earth and crave heaven. We had to leave just as Pastor Frank got up to preach. Susan spent the day and night with Kelli. We came home and I helped Michael get ready for his demo. He took homemade cake batter to his appt. and baked a cake in the skillet while showing these folks the cookware/knives. They bought a big set and he was promoted to the next level in the Cutco business. I made some whoopie pies for a friend who said on face book that they would really help her through her troubles. I washed some towels and made pureed soup and took a nap. I am just taking it easy. I am thankful for the books I am reading. Two of them have the word Sacred in the titles-"Sacred Thirst" by M.Craig Barnes and "The Sacred Ordinary" by Leigh McLeroy. Both are worthy reads. I am thankful for Phil's kind concern and that he called my mother because he was so concerned for me. She and I have been writing emails back and forth today. I am thankful that Phil heard the spring peepers yesterday morning and that soon, we'll hear them all of the time. I am thankful that Mrs. Roth is with Jesus. I wish I could bring Mr. Roth home to live with us.
Sun.-Rough night. Can't go into it but prayed alot and God did answer. I am thankful again, for another Repairer of the Breach. I am thankful that the Balm of Gilead was poured into wounded souls. I believe God will bring about a greater good than had this incident never happened. And I believe that we all need help in the area of our tongue and we all need the grace and mercy of God. Phil had some farm trouble and we got to church but not SS. Loved the song-"O the blood of Jesus..covers all our sin." Let us keep each other covered with His blood. When we don't forgive or extend grace, we try to wash the blood of Jesus off another's sin and expose it. The blood is too sacred to control. God help us realize who our real enemy is and stand together in unity.
I took Pastor Frank's sermon as good counsel and admonition for any Christian who wants to stand strong and draw near to Him. He encouraged us to pray day and night, fast, and live holy lives. Just as Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man, we should be committed to do the same.
Wisdom is the ability to implement the will of God in a situation. Ps.112:2-The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. James says that if we lack wisdom, we should ask of God, who giveth to all men liberally. Prov. 4:7,8-Pursue wisdom. Prov. 24:30-Gain wisdom by observing and considering it. Prov. 4:18-the path of the wise grows ever brighter.
Character is who you are in the dark. It's who you are under pressure. James 1:2 says we are to count it all joy when we are overwhelmed with the trials of life. James 2:8-Character shows up in those who have a sensitivity to the needs around them. Jesus was moved with compassion. He was compelled by love. James 3 exhorts us to master our mouth. Make sure that everything we say will build people up. We will give an account for every idle word-words that have no good in them. We must watch what we say, building each other up and encouraging one another. The Greek word for fasting is 'to keep your mouth shut.' James 4-Be a peacemaker; not a troublemaker. We have associated peacemakers with a peaceful personality, but it is not accurate to do so.
Favor-the special affection of God that releases influence on your life. Don't spend your life; invest it. 1 Pet. 2-God is pleased when you do what is right even when wrong is done to you. Gideon's men were able to bring to themselves what they needed and yet kept their eye open to guard others. Ps. 5:12-You surround me with favor as with a shield. The favor of God releases you from the script that every one else has written about your life. The people in Jesus' town said, "Isn't this 'just' the carpenter's son...?" The favor of God releases you from people's opinion that you are 'just' so and so.
When everything else is stripped away, the character, wisdom, and favor of God within you will reveal itself as you are given grace to proclaim,"I know that my Redeemer Liveth and I will stand with Him on that Day."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Came home and ate baked potatoes and F and A brought some pizza. We watched Three Stooges and checked our face books and relaxed with each other, taking turns taking naps, etc. Kelli and Susan went down to the river on the gator and had a good time. Jordan and Michael came back here and Philip went with Christi to play volleyball somewhere. I went without pain meds from 8 this morning until 3 which is a big deal. I am so tired of feeling so drugged and out of things. Maybe I've turned a corner.
Went to church in the eve. //I am thankful that when Roxy tried to herd the pigs back to their pen, she did not damage the one's leg too badly. I am thankful for the blood of Jesus. I am thankful for the spring peepers we heard as we were pulling away from Freeman and Alli's new place. I am thankful for the sacred things I see in ordinary living and that these blessings are far from common.
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