Chiseled Words

I've been thinking alot about God
and what can be said about Him.

Sometimes we say that God will protect us
and then a friend is badly hurt,
or a sister's son is killed.

Why didn't He protect them?
Did He try?
Why does He sometimes protect
our loved ones
and other times it seems like
someone's angel was on vacation?

What is safety?
What are we kept safe from?
One thing for sure-
our idea of
safety in Christ
is over-rated.
Sometimes, people are badly hurt.
Sometimes, people die.

Therefore,
I cannot equate safety
with protection from death
or harm.
What about all those who die
because they believe in Him?
Does the persecuted church ask us to pray for their faith
so they won't deny Him under trial?
Or do they ask for prayer
because God does not protect them
and they do not want to be tempted to
lose their faith
in Him because He doesn't do
what they thought He would do.

This is the kind of thing that is keeping
me up at night.
My brain won't stop.
My little God box has been blown to bits again.
It was bigger than the last time
but I think I was starting to get the Math facts down again.

Faith + righteousness= Protection

Those kind of religious formulas-
blown to bits again.
A crater stands naked and bare
where the God Math facts once blared
their certainties in my manufactured box
of God's goodness.
My trust in God is shaken, again,
but I think it's really my trusted ideas
that are devastated.

I have to change the way I think about God.

I was talking to my sister
and she had been talking to a friend
who lost a brother and his wife
in a tragic accident.
Her friend raised the infant children
that were left behind in that calamity.
She and her husband did a great job.
They had no children of their own.
They had lost a child right before it
was ready to be born.
Was it Christmas day many years ago?


Rosalee's friend said that they have come
to this conclusion about God after the things they experienced.

I can hardly write this, I am crying so hard.

She had this to say about God.
"God is with us."

Bottom line.

Don't ask me to dance around and sing a happy song
about God's goodness.
I would go to great lengths to
protect my sister from hearing that
kind of song right now.

But, I will tell you what will get her through...
what will get us all through the days ahead...
because,
if you have not experienced the depth of sorrow
that cannot handle a loud, happy song...
you may someday.
And then, you will understand.
Words of formula will disappear
and you will know
that the one thing for sure that can be said about God is this,
"He is with us."

I cannot shout those words loudly enough,
nor can I whisper them quietly enough.

"He is with us."

For that I love Him with all my heart.
For that I will try to refrain from
putting Him in my little makeshift box again.
And for that I will build a majestic monument
in my heart.
I will chisel eternal words on my Rock
with my
pounding fists and when I am finished,
you will read,
"God is with me
and He alone is good."

Perhaps, someday,
I will write a song with those words
and it will be full of richness and joy,
sorrow and knowing.
The violin will duet with the cello
and the clarinet will waltz with the harp.

The sad in heart will hear it and weep
and they will want to embrace
the God of the valley
who knows their sorrows
and wipes their tears.
They will know that He is for them
and that He is with them
and that He is good.

It is the music of heaven.

Sometimes,
if I am very still,
I hear it.
Perhaps, He will give it to me someday
so I can share it with others.
Perhaps,
He will give it to you.