Christmas

For some reason, I always experience an anxiety at Christmas. This anxiety is wrapped around the false belief that the bottom of the tree should be piled high in gifts. I fear that my children will be disappointed because we aren't giving them enough. Their friends get all kinds of hand held games and the latest gadgets. I have no clue what these things are. Technology is increasing faster than I am.
We have always tried to focus on Jesus' birthday. We have given the children three gifts every year because Jesus got three gifts. These gifts are usually practical gifts, such as questionably- themed boxers and work gloves. Today, I was telling Philip, 20, that I feel like we don't have enough for them. I told him that I have one gift for him and some money. He said, "Mom, I don't really care. It's Jesus' birthday. I love Christmas."
I realized that my children had gotten it. I was still trying to get what I thought other's had with their extravagant Christmas's. But Philip taught me my lesson back. It is Jesus' birthday. And any gift we get on His birthday is extra. Merry Christmas, indeed.
Now that the false belief is no longer viable, the anxiety that comes with it is gone too.
I write this as I listen to "Away in a Manger" sung by an adult choir.
I write this as our Christmas tree lights are on and the white manger scene is illumininated with white lights under white angel hair. On the table, I have three plates on a golden tier piled high with homemade candy and cookies to take to a Christmas party we are going to soon.
And though the gifts seem small and insignificant under the tree, I am loving Christmas.
I really was almost there. But Philip's words have transported me into the beauty of Christmas without anxiety. And I can now enjoy that babe in the manger guilt-free.
Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gifts.
Phil, Freeman, Philip, Michael, Susan, Jesus, church, school, neighbors, friends, family, farm, life, health, joy, provision, wisdom, love, faith~so many unwrapped gifts to be enjoyed.
My gold, frankincense, and myrrh.