Friday, January 16, 2009

You didn't say goodbye

You didn't say good-bye.
If I had known you were leaving, I would have locked you up behind bars until your sanity returned. I would have talked some sense into your head. I would have kept you from hurting your wife and your children in this way. I could have kept God from crying like He's been.
But, why do I think I could have been your savior, when you have refused the way out of this dilemna? How could I prevent what God Himself has not prevented?

Yes, I am angry. Yes, I am sad.
But I am also grateful.

Thank you for being our friend while you were.
Thank you for being a role model to my children while you were.
Thank you for being a witness for Christ while you were.
Thank you for the greatness of who you were.
I will remember who you were.
Who are you now?
What a deep sense of loss I feel. What a deep sense of loss we all feel.
Do you know how important you are to us?
Do you know that we cared? Do you know we would have tried to help if we could have seen beneath your shining armor? Did we just not take the time to understand? Did we ignore the still quiet voice that told us you were struggling?
Please forgive us for missing it.
I am so sorry you needed what we did not give.
I miss you as a friend, as a husband to my friend, as a father to my friend's children...
I miss you as a brother.
Please come back to us.
You didn't say good-bye.

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