Friday, March 20, 2009

What Makes Someone Beautiful?

I went out to town the other day to run some errands and I stopped in to see Dee. Her aunt had passed away and she had some other adjustments to make in life, so I had a card for her. She opens her shop, Courage, at 1:00. Two teenage boys were waiting for her on the steps, their skateboards in tow. She was running a little late. We chitchatted a bit and then the one said, "I will give her that card for you, if you trust me." I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I do. Thank-you." I turned and walked to my car without looking back. For all they knew, I could have had some cash in that card. I couldn't risk not giving them a chance to be trustworthy. I drove by a short time later and the faithful young man was still holding the card, unopened.

Dee called this evening and thanked me for the card. She said that the young men said that a nicely dressed, attractive woman asked them to give it to her. I have to say that I was surprized at the description of myself. I had on my oldest jeans with the bulgy superglue stains , my sneakers, and a button down shirt. I think he thought I was attractive because I trusted him.

I'm being very vulnerable here. I've never been in the Beautiful Women's Club. I've also never experienced the insecurity that my beautiful friends have had-the fear that guys only liked them for their beauty. Beautiful women are some of the most prejudiced against women in America. I've always felt a bit sorry for them.

My mother is a beautiful woman. The guys in high school would line the hallway and sing the old hymn, using her maiden name, "Oh, Beulah Landis, Sweet Beulah Landis..." as she walked by. It was said that she was the most beautiful woman in Lancaster County. But I look like my father and I'm okay with that. He had his own sense of style. I've got his nose, that's for sure. I never even knew my nose was pointy until Miss Derstine, my seventh grade teacher said, in her speech about self-acceptance, "Annette has a pointy nose, and she doesn't mind."
Some time after I was married, a family friend gushed, "Annette, you are so much more attractive now then when you were younger." I just laughed at the insulting compliment, but my mother was upset about that one for awhile.

I remember shopping with my mother ten years ago, or so, and men would hover around just to look at her. She was completely oblivious to their attention. When we went back home to my dad, I said, " All the men look at mother." He said something like, "Tell me about it. I've had to deal with this all my life." I could tell he was proud. She thought we were both nuts.


Phil said to me last week, "You endear yourself to me in a hundred different ways every day." He often tells me I am beautiful but I never get the sense that he is talking about how I look. So, today, I am sorting out what makes a person beautiful.

Kindness is beautiful.
Gracious uncertainty is beautiful as is gracious confidence.
Trust is beautiful.
A smile and a cheerful greeting is beautiful.

I think when someone loves us, we are beautiful to them.
I think when we love someone, we are beautiful to them.

I know an awful lot of beautiful people.


4 comments:

Jeanne said...

You are beautiful in a thousand ways. And yes, probably growing more beautiful as you get older. I think that as we age, the inner light we have developed over a lifetime of thought, word and deed shines forth - and when you see someone who radiates kindness, patience, mercy and caring, but most especially a non judgmental attitude, they are the most beautiful people on earth. Do I think you are beautiful? I do. :)

Funny Mom said...

Oh my beautiful Annette! In sight, sound, spirit, in all ways you are one of the most beautiful people I know. Love ya!

Michelle said...

LOVED this Aunt Annette! And I LOVE you! Thank you for being a wonderful example to me of how to mix outer and inner beauty, how to love and be loved! <3

Annie said...

Thank you Jeanne, Sara, and Michelle. I love you all too and think you are beautiful.